Saturday, May 31, 2003

JihadTV - Coming to a country near you!

(Courtesy of Little Green Footballs)

Argh. Another example of Queensland idiocy:

In a world first, Ergon Energy teamed with Australia's second largest macadamia processor, Suncoast Gold Macadamias at Gympie yesterday to launch construction of a $3 million power plant fuelled by tonnes of waste macadamia shells.

Maybe the idea of powering things on waste items isn't so far-fetched. I might try pissing in my car and seeing if it'll run.

Why do so many freaks come out of Queensland?

For starters, we have hippy-sympathisers like Jim Soorley; a stupid hypocritical premier who thinks it's okay to point the finger at Dr. Hollingworth for sex scandals, while covering up the same kind of garbage in his own party; and now some raving moron who was awarded a doctorate of lunacy from the University of Queensland claiming that Jesus was gay. I'm pretty sure he didn't need $51,000 of taxpayer money to come to a conclusion as mind-bogglingly stupid and irrelevant as this:

Melbourne-based Rollan McCleary, who will today be awarded his doctorate, earned $17,000 a year to work on his three-year thesis on homosexual spirituality.

As well as his revelation about Christ, Dr McCleary has also reached the conclusion that three – or possibly four – of Jesus's chosen disciples were also gay. A former Paris radio broadcaster, Hong Kong teacher and graduate of London University, Dr McCleary lived in Brisbane while completing his thesis.

This dope isn't the only congenital idiot that thinks Jesus was gay either. Some Methodist theologian also says so.

Why am I here again? Oh yeah, I'm still a student. I am sooo moving to Sydney as soon as my university course (not from UQ) is finished before I get Brisbanitis and start making crazy "revelations" as well...

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Mum told me that she wants a new Holden Astra SRi Turbo. Pictures here, here and here. General specs here.

For a little 2.0L 4-cylinder fart box, it puts out 147kW, which is quite impressive. Oh, and the SRi Turbo models seem to only be released with manual transmission! Joy!

Well, now that I'm the Mayor of Brisbane, I think it's time to expand my operations. That's right, I'm going to work on getting rid of Peter Beattie and his cowboy-hat-wearing, XXXX-swilling, banana-bending government. I don't even have to lie about it or kill anybody this time! Well, not to begin with anyway.

Check this out. Read that, and laugh more than you normally would at Simon Crean when he says idiotic stuff like this...

"It is as simple as this. You can't have people in authority who have covered up child sex abuse. It's as simple as that."

... and then wonder why the hell he hasn't cracked down on the Queensland Labor Party.

My victory is assured!

Information obtained via Tim Blair and Gareth Parker.

Monday, May 26, 2003

I sure did unwittingly lie about my return trip back here. I didn't end up getting back until earlier this evening. As a result, I'll post more stuff tomorrow. Heh heh heh.

Thursday, May 22, 2003

I'm going away for the weekend. I'll be back Sunday evening, however blogging is more likely to re-commence on Monday.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Who the hell gave Michael Moore a job? Furthermore, who the hell is foolish enough to take him seriously?

He's a complete looney. What's more astonishing (and ultimately pisses me off to no end), is that there are so many morons out there who believe him simply because he's taking a negative stance at his own country. There is something built into the human mind that makes the unaware take criticism of something seriously (as biased or untruthful as it may be), and praise of something as a form of propaganda. Refer to Bill Whittle's latest essay for a run-down of how a writer can cover up bias.

I don't think I could ever, ever stand to read all of Moore's book "Stupid White Men". I managed to stomach about 3 pages or so whilst in a bookshop a few months ago, and I was utterly disgusted. If his vision is an "equal" society, why does he have such searing contempt for white men? I know it's old news and I'm most certainly not the only person who loathes him, but Moore makes me so angry. I need to vent it occasionally.

MooreWatch: For all your Michael Moore hating needs! Also, I think they should revoke the oscar!!! NOW!

I have something to unveil soon (in the next day or two), and I'm hoping it'll at least make some kind of impact on my lowly status of "part-time blogger".

Monday, May 19, 2003

Bill Whittle has a new essay on his site. I don't want to spoil anything for anybody, but I just had to regurgitate this example of how misdirection is used in the mass-media to "tell lies by telling the truth":

Robert Wayne Jernigan is now 28 years old. People who knew him said he was quiet, somewhat stand-offish. He was not widely liked in high school.

Four years ago, a witness reported seeing Jernigan enter a building in a remote suburb of Dallas with an axe. Four people were found dead at the scene, including a nine year old girl. No charges were filed. Less than two days later, Jernigan turned up again, this time at the scene of a suspicious fire in a day care center. Miraculously, no one was injured. But it was just a matter of time.

During the next several weeks, it is possible to place Jernigan at the scene of no less than thirteen suspicious fires. Eleven people died. Eyewitnesses were unshakable in their determination that Jernigan had been on the scene. And yet the police did nothing.

Jernigan had long been fascinated with fire. A search of his apartment revealed fireman-related magazines, posters and memorabilia. Despite the deaths of fifteen people, despite repeated eyewitness accounts and photographic evidence placing Jernigan at these fires, no criminal charges were ever filed against Robert Wayne Jernigan. He remains a free man to this day.

And rightfully so. Because Robert Wayne Jernigan is a fireman for the Dallas Fire Department.* He is not a serial arsonist at all.

Now re-read the previous paragraphs and tell me where I lied.

The whole essay is magnificent. Go read it. Now.

Just a passing thought... What happened to the Iraq war being "illegal" ? I swear there were at least a few people out there who deemed the war to be in violation of international law. Whatever happened to that argument? If it were illegal, there'd at least be threats of action against Bush, Blair and Howard by now, right? Maybe the idiot left have forgotten about that argument because they know they were wrong.

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

I'd just like to point out that if I was to have any car in the world at the moment, it'd probably be one of these.

For those who have not heard of SmarterChild, it's an add-in you can get for your instant-messaging client that can provide you with information, and also a robotic friend to chat to (he doesn't let the fact that fully-functional AI hasn't been developed yet get in his way). For example, I use MSN Messenger, so I installed SmarterChild on my MSN contact list. Anyway, now that you have a vague idea of what it is, I'm going to demonstrate how fun it is to make it say stupid things. Behold!

Marty says:
You sure could use a brain!
SmarterChild says:
Like me could use a brain? lol!
Marty says:
... My point has been proven

Tsk tsk tsk. It's good for a chuckle, I guess.

Monday, May 12, 2003

So I was walking home today, just minding my own business, when this bum came up to me.

"Have I got a deal for you!!!" He said. I noticed he wasn't in typical bum attire (suits don't count as bum attire, right?), but I gave myself the benefit of the doubt and declared him a bum. So I treated him like one.

"You aren't getting my money!" I said angrily. "Now get out of here before I kick your ass!"

"You misunderstand me. My name is Kerry Pa..."

I pulled out a lead pipe and belted the bum over the head with it. I didn't have any time for bums today. I was in a hurry to get home! However, just as I was walking over the collapsed body of this bum, a strange vapour started seeping out of him. It was after me!

I ran and I ran! Probably about 15 or 20 metres of non-stop sprinting! Then it got me. The eerie vapour surrounded my head and went through my ears and nose. From then on, I felt as though I had some kind of head cold.

I hate head colds. It's still there.

Thursday, May 08, 2003

Apologies for very light posting this week. University assignments, exams, and other miscellaneous issues (good and bad) have to be dealt with. I'll be back in-full next week.

Saturday, May 03, 2003

It’s pretty hard being the only person like me in all of Brisbane. Well, that’s what I’m beginning to think anyway. The lord mayor of the city, Jim Soorley (I don’t care if I misspelt his name, it doesn’t deserve to be spelt right), is a whinging socialist pile of steaming tripe, and I think I should enforce a regime change of my own for this city. I’d turn it into a real city. While I’m at it, I might as well get rid of the stupid Labor government in power in the state of Queensland. Peter Beattie is like the rapper Nelly, but instead of having a dumb band-aid on his face, he wears that stupid cowboy hat all the time. That alone is enough for me to want to unleash the fury upon him. However I’ll just be concentrating on the city of Brisbane today, and then I’ll take over Queensland sometime in the near future. I can’t get ahead of myself, you know…


Since I can’t exactly assume control of Queensland straight away, I have to start smaller. Getting rid of Jim Soorley would be easy because he believes “violence is never the answer”. I found a loophole in his theory, because he can’t exactly persuade a cricket bat to not break his head.

“No! Marty no! Don’t hit me! I’ll do whatever you want to appease you!” Jim pleads in his office (or whatever he spends his day in).

“Puny weakling! Your pacifism is no match for my mighty temper!” I’d say before the said cricket bat strikes his cranial region.

Then the cops would show up, and they’d say “What the hell happened here?!” Of course, by then I would have made it seem like Jim was hitting himself. He’s a crazy socialist, so it kinda makes sense that he would actually beat himself to a bloody pulp. Anyway, the cops are all suspicious that I, a perfectly respectable young man, would have the nerve to beat the Brisbane lord mayor to death.

I’d say in my defense (complete with innocent puppy-dog eyes), “I was just walking past and I heard Jim here screaming and I also heard what sounded like a cricket bat hitting this guy in the face, so I ran in to investigate, and I found him beaten up like this! I think he must have been beating himself!”

“You look like a perfectly respectable young man, I honestly don’t think you have the nerve to beat the Brisbane lord mayor to a bloody pulp! As a reward, how would you like to assume total control of Brisbane?” The cops would reply.

“Oh, well, I don’t know… A lord mayor at 18? That is pretty cool I suppose, and I’ve got to start oppressing stupid hippies somewhere… Okay, I’ll take the job!” From then on, I’ll be the lord mayor of Brisbane and then Brisbane shall become a real city!


Stats are working again!! Hurrah!!!

If it wasn't nearly 1am I'd go grab a beer, but it's too late to start drinking. Well, for me it is anyway.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have found for your moral pleasure, the definitave P.C. FAQ! It is truly enlightening. Not convinced? It deals with many issues of political correctness, even animals:


The general rule is as follows:


It's so simple! It also deals with verbal discrimination:


Yes. That's part of the PC movement. You see, part of the way we think about people comes directly from the words we use to describe them. Take "black" for instance. Why should a person be judged by the color of their skin?


No, I mean they should be judged by where their ancestors are from. If your great grandparents are from Africa, or Asia, or wherever, then you should be identified by that fact. You can even apply for special scholarships!


No, there are none offered to white males however, if you are a women ...oops... womyn, there should be plenty.

To sum up what the FAQ is trying to say:


Yes. The Politically Correct belief is essentially a recognition that people are diversely equal. We rejoice in this equality by treating people differently based on their equal individuality. Hop aboard the bandwagon... Be PC. Or you're an intolerant, racist, sexist insensitive pig.

It's oh so true. I'm going to make every effort to be P.C. from now on!! Also check out the P.C. lexicon at the end of the article so you can refine your vocabulary to be completely non-offensive.

I've been enraged about racism and free speech earlier this week. Thursday, actually. Anyway, I feel like adding to my rant because it gets a lot off my chest. Cleanses my soul. Sort of.

It's very interesting to note that a lot of the lefties (the best examples being the anti-war Rent-A-Crowd™ and the anti-war celebrities) that have been complaining about the huge backlash they're recieving for saying such intellectually stimulating quips like "Bush is a fuckhead" (also known as the "Crushing of Dissent™"), are the same kind of people that like to enforce ridiculous levels of political correctness. These people favour the censorship of educational reading because there is a slight chance it may offend some stupid minority group for example. Idiots. They're complaining about people crushing their own freedom of speech, and yet they're turning around and robbing just about everyone else of their free speech.

Friday, May 02, 2003

It's been done for a couple of days now, but I guess I should acknowledge that the blog has finally changed from "Marty's Rants" to "Martin Kidd". I think naming my blog after myself is rather avant-garde, don't you?

Thursday, May 01, 2003

Oh dear God no!!! I cannot believe this*.

Political correctness is getting more and more out of hand. It's ridiculous. Take gays for example. Firstly I want to stress that I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with gay people. Anyway, if some outwardly gay person is annoying me for whatever reason, and I tell him to shut up like I would to anybody else, all of a sudden I'm homophobic, I'm a gay-basher and I'm a hatemongering insult to the rest of humanity. This has got to stop!!!!!!!

I can't believe that so many idiots out there are so convinced that appeasement is the way to get rid of any kind of discrimination (race, sexual preference, religion, whatever). Indescrimination is the opposite of descrimination, and yet these idiots are focused on appeasement. Do they not realise that what they're doing is actually widening the gap between "us" and "them" (for lack of a better expression)? There are no blacks, whites, gays, straights, asians, muslims etc. Just people. Ugh! It makes me so mad that people can't get a grip on the situation!

*link obtained via Rachel Lucas. She has a lot to say about the link as well. Read.

At first I wouldn't have suspected that these guys are serious. It seems they are.

..... Let's all point and laugh!!