Tuesday, September 30, 2003

An Idea... 

I've received nothing but positive remarks about yesterday's ramble (despite what you'll read in the comments), so I'm considering doing a few of them per week, if time permits. For those of you who actually do post in the comments, yay or nay?

I'm off to bed. More from me tomorrow.

Death! Death! Death! 

A guy clubbed a dog to death in it's own yard after it attacked him. This is on what I'd consider the borderline between self-defense and him being in the wrong place at the wrong time (i.e. trespassing). But since I love death so much, due to my status as a bloodthirsty, war-criminal wannabe, I'll initially put the stakes on the guy being right in clubbing the dog to death.

Yesterday builder Robin William Kelly, 51, appeared in the Brisbane Magistrate's Court on a charge of unlawfully killing an animal in Chapel Hill. Kelly did not enter a plea.

No plea? Surely Kelly knows he's in the right! Points to Kelly!

The dog he allegedly killed was Emma, the pet of Jan and Jon Thorlton who were yesterday struggling to come to terms with her death.

"She loved chasing a tennis ball. If she was here now, that's what she'd be doing," a visibly upset Mr Thorlton said.

Uh oh... Seems like animal loyalists wrote this article. More points to Kelly!

When they came home Emma was missing and neighbours said they had heard "a thump and a yelp".

Kelly claimed he killed the dog out of self-defence.

Speaking outside court, Kelly rolled up his trouser legs to reveal bite marks he said Emma had inflicted after he went to talk to Emma's owners, armed with a small baseball bat for protection.

He killed it in one "thump" and not many "thumps"! He must be like the Kelly-O-Tron 3000, or the Kellinator or something. Maybe Super Kelly? I would use his first name, but to be honest, "Super Robin" doesn't really sound like the kind of guy you'd expect to see clubbing rogue dogs or anything...

"The dog bit me once and I hit it with the baseball bat, and then it had another go and I knocked it out," he said. "If I hadn't had the bat it would have torn me to pieces."

Oh, it was two hits. So maybe he's not quite Super Kelly or the Kellinator, but I think the Kelly-O-Tron still suits him. But unfortunately, he loses the 3000 at the end of his title. More points to Kelly for having the foresight to take a baseball bat with him, though!

Mrs Thorlton said the family, including her two grown-up children Simone and Nicole, were dealing with the tragic loss together.


Late yesterday Emma's body had still not been found.

Mr Kelly claimed he threw Emma over a neighbour's fence but said he returned later to find the dog gone.


... 'Nuff said. Anyway, my final ruling is that Kelly wins by a staggering amount over everything/one else mentioned in the story. Mainly because he killed something and nobody else did. Three cheers for Kelly!

Oh yay. 

Thank Christ I am going to a private university. Lecturers at public universities are becoming as retarded as their secondary teacher counterparts:

The national conference of the National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) today decided on a 24-hour strike to oppose university industrial relations reforms announced by the Federal Government.


The "think of the children!" argument won't work against these guys, only for them. That time in October is approaching exam times. As a student, I'd be mighty pissed off if my stupid lecturers and tutors were going to strike instead of helping me out with my exam prep.

Private education rocks.

Monday, September 29, 2003

I am who I am... 

I have been asked to provide a little more information about me on this website, so here goes...

I want to be a snotty teenage undergraduate. Actually, no, wait... I don't want to be one of them. Although I guess at times I can't help it. You know, being an undergraduate that has opinions on stuff. They're evil right-wing opinions though, which I guess is a refreshing change from most Australian universities (or universities in general).

Now all I need is some minions... And money. Lots of money. This is where my lust for scandalous and irresponsible greed comes from. This is why I'm in awe of those multi-nationals with the fat CEO's, always ready to lay off up to a thousand staff. That's all they do. All day, every day. Oh wait, they also get poor little malnourished kittens from the pound, then test out their new Rolls Royce's suspension. "Whoa, they're right! It is a smooth ride!" they'll say. Another thing I truly admire and respect about those multinationals is their utter disrespect for the environment. I mean, I've always been told "think globally, act locally" but it just doesn't work. I am failing to see how me throwing empty Coke bottles out the window of my car at those dumb-looking birds on the side of the road is screwing up the environment! Though there was this one time that I was fishing and I caught a few undersize fish, so I threw them all in a plastic bag, tied it up, then threw it back into the water. That was funny. Then, while I was there, I thought it'd be a good time to give the car an oil change, so I did. Naturally, the oil ended up in the surrounding mangroves and body of water. I'm doing my bit for the environment!

Since I have the title of "right-wing death beast", it wouldn't be right if I didn't have a voracious thirst for death, violence and all things cruel. I was only an active supporter on the Iraq War because it involved death. I don't care how many civilians the Coalition didn't kill, I just want to know how many people they did kill! It'd be good too if the stupid media weren't so biased against the war either. All I'm hearing about is how it's a quagmire, and it's a shame on the modern human race that we go to war in this day and age. What I want to see is cool explosions, destruction, and best of all, a good shot of a daisycutter bomb landing right on a stupid terrorist so we get a good view of the explosion. Then Fox can replay it in slow motion! I tell ya, it's as good as being there...

While I'm on the subject of the war, I don't know what all these people are on about when they drone and moan on about how "it's all about the oooooiiilllll!" I'm all for stealing Iraq's oil reserves. Better we have it than they do. I mean, if my goal is to become filthy stinking rich, and I was disposing of a murderous, oppressive dictator anyway, then I might as well treat myself to some oil. After all, I deserve it! It's like a larger scale of going down to the park of an afternoon and kicking a football around for a bit, perhaps having a quick game with your friends, then coming home and having a few beers. It has been legitimately earned! However, I think stealing the oil would fit in very nicely with my evil right-wing plans to destroy the environment. You know how I performed that oil change on the car after I tied those undersized fish up in that plastic bag, then dumped the oil in the surrounding mangroves and body of water? Think of what I could do with an entire Middle-Eastern oil reserve! It wouldn't be "thinking globally, acting locally" anymore; it'd be "thinking globally, acting excessively" which is ultimately what I prefer to do.

Okay, so I've covered lust for copious amounts of money, and lust for copious amounts of death in my right-winged analysis of myself. I think that's all that being a right-wing death beast entails, isn't it? No wait, there's one last major factor that sits above the love for greed and death: hate.

Us right-wingers are driven by hate. We have purely black hearts. Actually, that's almost like an oxymoron in this context. I mean, if we're so cruel and evil, how can we possibly have a heart? Oh well, I digress... We are completely driven by hate. I'll use myself as an example, since this is a post about me on a site about me. I hate everything that is good for the world. I hate respect for the environment. I hate the notion of a democratic distribution of wealth. I hate cute little kittens. I hate those goddamned hippies who love everything that I hate! They make me so mad! They make me want to bomb the cra... I'm getting sidetracked. At any rate, I think you get the idea.

As a political conservative, I need to uphold all that is well and evil in the world! It is my duty to rise up against the powers of good, and keep them from having any influence or relevence whatsoever! It is my duty to enforce my beliefs upon others through unscrupulous conspiracies! It is my duty to stay on top of the world, and crush those who disobey me! I will lead us into a glorious new age of evil! Where dissent is crushed before it begins! Where the only kitten you'll see is a squashed one underneath the front wheel of a Rolls Royce or Bentley! Where we don't have to listen to stupid unshaven hippies telling us to "respect mother earth, man!" And above all, where we can kill anything that needs a good killing!

Sorry, I'm pretty sure I was coming to some kind of conclusion at the end there, but I got a little carried away.

Today's stuff 

Prime Minister John Howard has reshuffled his cabinet. Here comes the punch line:

Reshuffle due to incompetence, says Crean


Speaking of things that are funny, I know it's a couple of days old, but Hillary Clinton is as evil as ever.

Tim Blair has a friend in Iraq who has made an interesting observation.

What's this?! Co-operation in the middle east? Surely it can't be! ... I still have my doubts, but hey, I guess I'm a bit of a cynic.

Everyone should watch Evan Coyne Maloney's chat with Michael Moore. I haven't actually watched it yet (I'm waiting for it to download), but it's a link off Instapundit, so it should be good.

As a final point, I have the most useless ISP on the planet. Just thought you'd like to know that.

A quick post from university. 

As the title subtly suggests, I'm at university. I was just going to point out that I missed an exciting U.S. Grand Prix. I hate it when I miss those things.

Go Schumacher!


Blogger's new posting layout is... different. I don't know whether I like it. I think it'd be great if they decided to keep the old layout.

Okay, I'm done bitching now.

UPDATE: Okay, that's weird. The Blogger pages display different at uni than they do at home here. Hmm.

Sunday, September 28, 2003

Best quote ever... 

"The extreme left. That's all we ever hear about, isn't it, the extreme left.

Funny expression that, isn't it? The extreme ... left. It's like a lot of leftovers, isn't it? It's like all them little bits at the end of a party that nobody wants.... Come to think of it, that's not far off the truth..."

- Albert Arkwright (played by Ronnie Barker) in "Open All Hours"

Saturday, September 27, 2003

Urge to kill.... rising! 

My computer has half died. It works (obviously - how else would I be typing this?) but it's only running on half a heartbeat, as opposed to a full one.

Lots of un-backed-up stuff has been lost. Data recovery measures, although initially hopeful, don't appear to be working very well. Dammit!

Whether this will cause delays in blogging throughout next week is yet to be seen.

Friday, September 26, 2003

Tee hee... 

Instead of the same old blog description underneath the blog title, I put in a series of them which changes every time the page is refreshed. The library at the moment is not very big, and the descriptions aren' that good, but the main thing is that it works. I'll update the library constantly when new ideas pop into my head.

I sure didn't see this coming... 

Kazaa sues labels over copyright:

Sharman Networks, the company behind the Kazaa file-sharing software, filed a US federal lawsuit accusing the entertainment companies of using unauthorised versions of its software in their efforts to root out users.

Entertainment companies have offered bogus versions of copyright works and sent online warning messages to users.

Sharman said the companies used Kazaa Lite, an ad-less replica of its software, to get onto the network. The lawsuit also claims efforts to combat piracy on Kazaa violated terms for using the network.

Wow. I hope the RIAA burns too; it's ridiculous what they're doing.

The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) called Sharman's "newfound admiration for the importance of copyright law" ironic and "self-serving."

Haha!!! That's rich! Considering the amount that these RIAA fuckers sue people for! People who have absolutely no means of paying anywhere near the amount charged! And "self-serving"? You're losing business due to the emergence of new technology that you just didn't embrace quickly enough, so you're going to go for ridiculous damages amounts? How is one song worth $150,000 in damages anyway? Ugh...

This whole copyright law thing is getting way out of hand - it's turning into a massive legal shitfight. It's bloody stupid.

Falling off Chairs 

Mark Latham may have just said something remotely intelligent:

Declaring that the market economy was here to stay, Mr Latham argued Labor would strive for full "employability" through a "pro-competition, pro-productivity, pro-growth economic model".

Take that, Greens and Democrats! Latham has even put the unions off-side, which can only be a good thing:

"I don't believe that adopting a conservative economic policy that is indistinguishable from the Liberals' dogma is a recipe for electoral success for Labor," said Mr Cameron, national secretary of the Australian Manufacturing Workers Union.

I think it might be a little more electorally successful for Labor. The only thing I'd have against Labor then would be the heavy-taxing agenda they'd put forward. Latham responds to Cameron's criticism:

But Mr Latham rejects this, claiming he wants to place a greater emphasis on education, training and R&D, which he describes as the "new form of security".

"No one is going to have a job for life," he told The Australian.

There is Latham hinting at the "everything should be nationalised because the poor can't afford private services" thing. Maybe if more things were privatised, we'd be taxed less, therefore we could afford wonderful things like private education? Just a thought.

The political hardman, who is being groomed by some senior Right figures as a future Labor leader, insists he will not shy away from a robust policy debate on the ALP's economic direction.

Campaign Slogan: "Vote for me, ya fuckin' clueless wankers!"

But I digress... This is what I like to see, and it's surprising that it's coming from Labor:

The draft trade policy makes no mention of fair trade but instead reinforces the Opposition's support for free trade policies.

Only problem with that is what I've already mentioned regarding the "spend spend spend; tax tax tax" nature of Labor.

Thus concludes my daily unhumourous, uninteresting and dry post.

Today's Stuff 

Tim Blair offers his point of view on the state government's proposed pokie taxes in today's Australian.

Hat-tip to Tex, Steve Edwards makes an accurate observation on the green movement:

The Greens are a cancer on Australia, fertilised by the ideological sludge in the universities. Attacking this amoral, nonsense "progressivism" at its roots - the public sector - is about the only way to truly spike it. Next time the electorate gets scared about something abroad, the tories could do worse than use this cover to have a National Curriculum Review designed to sweep out the academically limp pseudo-sciences that have been proliferating at the expense of taxpayers.

I'm a university student, and I still agree with that. I think that means that I'm awesome, or something. As a final point, read all of the Andrew Bolt article that Steve cites.

Alan Anderson says what I'd say regarding the protests about sheep being exported live from Australia.

Finally, Scott Wickstein has moved.

Moore Moore-onic Moore-ons 

Michael Moore speaks out against his critics!

With the unexpected and overwhelming success of "Bowling for Columbine" and "Stupid White Men," the fiction that has been written or spoken about me and my work has reached a whole new level of storytelling. It's no longer about making some simple errors or calling me "Roger" Moore. It is now about organized groups going full blast trying to discredit me by knowingly making up lies and repeating them over and over in the hopes that people will believe them – and, then, stop listening to me.

Oh, that it would be so easy!

Fortunately, they are so wound up in their anger and hatred that they have ended up discrediting themselves.

Uh, most of these groups who are out to get you back up their criticisms, blubber boy.

He continues:

So, a whole host of gun lobby groups and individual gun nuts have put up websites where the smears on me range from the pre-adolescent (I'm a "crapweasel," and a "fat fucking piece of shit") to Orwellian-style venom ("Michael Moore hates America!").

I'm not a gun nut. Although I don't have a website against you either. What does that make me?

After that, he goes on for a bit about how some guy got on CNN and spoke against him. How blasphemous!

So, what do you do when the nutcases succeed in getting on CNN? Do you just keep ignoring them? How do you handle people who say the Holocaust never happened or that monkeys fly? Ignore them and they'll go away? If you give them any attention, all the nuts will come out of the woodwork.

I'm pretty sure that's what a lot of people were saying when you first emerged from the woodwork, you nutter.

And that's what happened. I saw another one of these lunatics, this time on MSNBC. A guy named John Lofton. He went on and on about how my movie is all made up. The anchor on MSNBC never challenged him on his lies and never told the viewers who he really was – a right wing crazy who believes Bush is too liberal.

I think you're a left-wing crazy who believes that, apart from the killing, Stalin was great. Therefore, by your logic, you should never speak in public again. As for the MSNBC anchor never challenging Lofton's "lies", don't you have legions of fans that never challenge your lies?

The fat Moore-on then blabs on seemingly forever about how Bowling for Columbine is awesome, how nobody should ever challenge it, blah blah crap crap. Then it ends.

PS. From now on, I will deal with all wacko attackos on this page. If you hear something about me that doesn't sound quite right, check in here.

Shall do, Mike, shall do.

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Three Cheers! 

Yes! YES! Thank God, YES! It's the headline we've all been waiting for:

Streisand bored with her music

Well, okay, maybe it's not the kind of headline that would please all of us, but I guess I have to compromise. Although I still think it'd be better if a headline like this was used:

Streisand lynches self after exposure to own music

Nothing special, but it would be very cool if I saw it some day.

The New South Wales Blues 


THE NSW government covered up an $88 million blowout in the cost of the Millennium trains by diverting funds from other rail operations, the NSW opposition said today.

Cabinet documents released by opposition leader John Brogden also show NSW Premier Bob Carr knew about the cost overrun in October last year.

Although I'm not a fan of Bob Carr, I can't say that I'm impressed with the NSW Liberals either. It almost seems like it's a reverse-federal situation. This time it's the NSW Liberals resorting to the same tactics as federal Labor in order to bring down a popular government.

Maybe Bob Carr would be suited for Canberra? I mean, if it'll stop Labor's stupid whinging about how everything the government does is a cover up, it might be refreshing. Also, if New South Wales is anything to go by, he will fit nicely into Labor's "we must tax everything" policies.

Carr for Canberra!


Frank J., despite being on a serious mission, still is able to be hilariously hilarious.

John Hawkins shows the difference between "freedom of speech" and "persecuting dissenters". Also, he tackles the theory that the CIA trained Osama Bin Laden in the 1980's. Interesting.

The Bitch Girls screw with headlines. Marty laughs.

In other lady-blogger news, Michele from A Small Victory comments on the widow who sued Bush over the 9/11 attacks before I can comment.

What Have I DONE?! 

Just in case you didn't notice, I've been fiddling around with the side bar. There is now a purdy picture of me, along with a new polling system that I'll change at irregular intervals. I plan on doing more, but that would involve time that I don't have right now.

So everybody has to vote in the damn polls!

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Pointless Stuff 

Following is pointless short ramblings that may or may not interest any or all of you.

* The Verve Remixed 2 CD is outstandingly good. If you are a fan of crossover-jazz (St. Germain, Marc Moulin et al.), then I strongly urge you to get this CD. Now.

* My Olympus C-350Z digital camera that I bought yesterday is great for those who aren't serious photographers, but still want a half-decent camera that yields good results - especially for the price I paid for it. If you're a serious photographer, you should probably look elsewhere, mainly because if you're that serious and only looking to spend AU$500 on a camera, you're an idiot.

* I have a friend Jo. (note the full-stop after her name - it's always "Jo." and never "Jo") who has ordered me to tell the entire world how awesome she is. This is a self-assessment that I would probably agree with; not necessarily because she has a nasty plan involving a Black & Decker drill and the back of my kneecaps, but because it is a genuinely accurate observation on her part. So three cheers for Jo.!

* I am rather busy, hence the lack of serious blogging at the moment. Normal service will continue as of tomorrow.

The Chunky-Ass Dark Lord Returns! 

Michael Moore has a new book. Titled, "Dude, Where's My Country?", it's bound to be, well, shit.

About Garbage Guts' new book:

Michael Moore is on a mission in his new book: Regime Change. The man who slithered into the White House on tracks greased by his daddy's oil buddies is one of many targets in Mike's blistering follow-up to his smash #1 hit Stupid White Men, the biggest-selling nonfiction book of the year. Now no one is safe: corporate barons who have bilked millions out of their employees' lifetime savings, legislators who have stripped away our civil liberties in the name of "homeland security," and even that right-wing brother-in-law of yours (yes, we all have one) who manages, year after year, through his babbling idiocy, to ruin Thanksgiving dinner.

Puke. I wonder if he realises that this is what he's defending:

Anti-WTO demonstrators throw liquid feces on Mexican riot police guarding the meeting of the World Trade Organization in Cancun, Mexico on Saturday, Sept. 13, 2003. (AP Photo/Jaime Puebla)

That's actually quite a dangerous precedent, I think. You know, because now I can get away with throwing buckets of shit onto people I don't like. Although I'd need several large vats of shit to adequately cover Moore himself. Maybe that's his secret plan?

"HA! You stupid corporate fatcats will never be able to successfully cover me with shit! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!!"

In retaliation, I think I am going to build the worlds biggest septic tank, then shove him inside it. Oh yes! I don't think this can be "crushing" of dissent anymore, though. I guess it's more like "shoving a fat-assed lump of dissent down the shitter," or something.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Ah Ha! 

One of the big headlines at news.com.au at the moment is "Journo claims proof of WMD lies".

Now, before everybody jumps up and down about how "Bush lied and people died," read what Tim Blair has to say.

Thank you, and goodnight.

Buy Stuff Day 

Oh those crazy gits at Adbusters are onto another ploy (which has been around for a few years now)... Buy Nothing Day.

Yeah, that's right, fight corporate greed and materialism by not buying stuff! As we are all well aware, advertising is evil and corporations brainwash the "uneducated, ignorant, fat, lazy, stupid masses" with propaganda. Oh dear, what will we do with ourselves? Go back to living like the good, wholesome, peaceful feudal communites, that's what!

Having this picture of Christina Aguilera to "sell" the idea of Buy Nothing Day may result in a rather entertaining lawsuit as well:

How successful has this campaign been?

Last year we watched the pig take CNN; we saw parades clog Wal-Mart aisles; we heard cash registers silenced by the thousands. For 24 hours, millions of people ditched consumer culture and by all accounts it was a smashing success.

Gee, way to big-up yourselves in order to sound cool. I thought doing stuff like that was evil? I mean, cash registers "silenced by the thousands" must be really significant in a country with... wait... how many million people? More than 250 million, right?

Damn, now I'm evil because I am crushing their dissent, or some crap. I feel so terrible.

Notice of Achievement 

I don't think I announced that I successfully made it through my vow against anger last week. Well I did.

In other news, don't listen to Brisbane cops, especially if they want your pubic hair:

A POLICE officer who pretended to a man and woman that they had to supply a sample of their pubic hair before they could become police informants appeared in the Brisbane District Court on 20 charges yesterday.

Commenting on things like this is hard. So instead of commenting on it, I guess I'll just club him to death or something. You know, fun stuff!


The Yobbo says stuff regarding Rob Corr and flag burning. I would only ever be able to repeat his words:

The flag burners aren't showing respect for fuck all, least of all other people who might have wanted to use the street or otherwise go about their lives. The flag burning action was nothing more than attention seeking from a bunch of uni students with too much money and too few brains.


His so called "respect" for the flag is just an excuse to have a cheap dig at the RSL, which is made up of people who have given real service to this country above and beyond their simple "rights and freedoms".

Yeah, read it all. You know the drill.

Urge to Kill... 

I haven't been able to access Blogger all afternoon and evening until now, so that's why I haven't written anything as yet today. Apologies all round.

In other less interesting news, I got myself a shiny new digital camera today. Huzzah for me!

Monday, September 22, 2003

More Evil! 

There seem to be a large number of power-thirsty authoritarian students at Griffith University. Well, that's what I made of this:

It is necessary to commence an online debate on the need for more serious reforms to the GUSRC [Griffith University Student Representative Council], including the possible adoption of an SRC Upper House and a more complete control of the university by the SRC, rather than the GUSRC-Campus Life dyarchy as is currently the case.

Wow, that's pretty a pretty big governing proposal for a student body. They are nice enough to include an email apparently from one of the big guys as far as SRC elections go (emphasis mine):

... I have been involved in SRC elections since 1993 and after failing to be elected due to my unpopularity and ultra-left political views, I was finally elected to the position of Finance Director in 1995. This has been the highlight of my life.


I have actively been involved in SRC elections since this time and I have supported the extremist left wing faction that is in control of the SRC and has been in control of the SRC for most of the last 10 years.

Am I reading this correctly? Does somebody that posted news at Indymedia want to overthrow a left-wing nut? Aren't all Indymedia freaks left-wing nuts? What the hell is going on here? This is scaring me...

Communisty Announcements 

Oh dear, it seems the advocates for social change have been brought up on good, wholesome, unbiased public education. Public schools are getting more and more tolerant of those with "differences" these days. Why, they're even graduating people who somehow missed out on attaining their education:

4zzzfm Comuntiy Notices

I didn't read much further than that, for reasons that should be obvious.

Also, I shouldn't bag out on public education that much, after all, I've had a public education (until this year). It's the government's fault for our national reading on the Stupidity-O-Gram™ because schools and teachers aren't paid enough! Well, that's what I'm told by all the teachers. Greedy bastards.

A Very, Very Serious Post 

This started as a blatant ploy for content terrific idea by Emily. I'm going to answer a few questions which I stole found somewhere:

1. Who is your favorite singer/musician? Why?

None, they all suck. They are all tax-eating monkeys who think that their art is actually good, or something.

2. What one singer/musician can you not stand? Why?

Crap, I think I already answered this. Oh well, I'll just get out "the list" and pick a random name. Hmm, Tim Freedman seems like a pretty good choice (read segment 6).

3. If your favorite singer wasn't in the music business, do you think you would still like him/her as a person?

Of course not! They'd still be tax-loving monkeys who complain about how the only reason rich people exist is because they're not taxed enough, so the dole-bludging wankers struggling artists lose out. Wait, I just thought of a difference; they'd be unemployed if they weren't in the music industry.

4. Have you been to any concerts? If yes, who put on the best show?

Well, the least they could do is put on a good show with lots of fireworks and explosions. Nine Inch Nails and Rammstein were the best in that department. Taxpayers are paying for those fireworks, you know!

5. What are your thoughts on downloading free music online vs. purchasing albums? Do you feel the RIAA is right in its pursuit to stop people from dowloading free music?

I think the RIAA is stupid. I think downloading music online is awesome. Although I'm a big fan of multi-national corporations and globalisation, I think the record industry is dumb for trying to outlaw this new technology instead of embrace it. Also, they smell funny.


The unmanned Galileo spacecraft was given a noble suicide today:

The spacecraft passed into the shadow of the solar system's largest planet and several minutes later entered its atmosphere at 5.57am (AEST). The unmanned spacecraft, travelling at nearly 173,770 km/h, was torn apart and vaporised by the heat and friction of its fall through the clouds.

Poor lil' bugger.

Tim Blair tells of another UN attack.

Do any readers here think George Bush is behind the 9/11 attacks? John Hawkins speaks sense on the subject, yes he does.

Also by John are the best quotes from Frank J.'s In My World™ series. If you're unfamiliar with the series or IMAO in general, then read this first.

The Wog made an observation the other day that I missed due to my absence.

Sunday, September 21, 2003


I'm back at home base, and everything is peachy. Although I have lived up to my promise of being far too buggered to do any serious blogging tonight, so this will be it.

There is one thing I want to clear up right now, however. The "Right-Wing Death Beast" banner thingy on the right-hand column was made by Scott Wickstein from Eye of the Beholder. Thanks Scott!

Done. I hate stupid 5:30am weekday starts... Must sleep.

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Important Notice of Departure 

Blogging will hereafter cease operations until next Monday (22nd September), due to a number of factors:

1) Work. Lots of work. It needs to be done now.

2) I'm going to be in Sydney from tomorrow and I won't be arriving back here until Sunday evening. I'm assuming I'm going to be far too buggered to be able to do anything then, so I'll leave it to Monday.

Peruse links, leave comments, ignore my comments sections - it's up to you.

Confirming Suspicion 

I stole the new RWDB banner on the right off The Yobbo's site (then put it on my own server, of course). I used to know where the term, and indeed the banner, came from. That was, until I forgot. So, if anybody knows who/where I should point credit to, that'd be great.

For everybody else - your suspicions have been confirmed!

Bad Beattie! 

I think Queensland premier Peter Beattie is pretty screwed for the next election, considering the folks at Brisbane Indymedia are now against him. I like how this article contains all the trademarks of a typical Indymedia story.

1) Bad web design.

2) Eye-catching headline:

Beattie - you fucking hypocrite

3) Heavily biased "facts":

Its because in QLD, policing is not about public order, its about the social order, and the Job of the cops is to use violence or its threat to uphold the status quo and make sure that the only way to change the social order is to become a politician and take bribes from big business through political donations.

4) Typographical errors (also note point 3 is still in action):

The fascist mayor of Townsville Tony Mooney is trying to get cops move on powers over all parks up here, like the cops and council don?t already have enough move on powers and powers of arrest- what?s this - scotch fucking mist?

Do these guys actually get credit for anything they write, or what? If I can remember correctly, there's a banner on this site somewhere that, quite clearly, states my stance on this organisation.

Assorted Linkage 

What actually constitutes a dire necessity? Don't ask me about it (also, see if you can figure out Tim's subtle approach to supporting his favourite AFL team).

Now I know where all my anger went - Emily stole it. Hey! Emily! I want that back!

Frank J. picks his ten favourite posts that he's ever done. Go there and read them all if you haven't already; there is a lot of hilarity in there.

The Yobbo has advice for new bloggers that I'm going to steal and make fun of. Well, perhaps later.

Finally, it's a tragedy when unfortunate things happen for popstars.

Think of the Children! 

In what is probably the first non-nude protest in recent times (thank God), teachers in Western Australia, Victoria and New South Wales have gone on strike. Again. They want more money.

"The issue of teacher shortage is a real issue in our schools across Australia, which principals are confronted with every day," National Principals' Committee chairman Neil Free said.

I dunno, after a couple of years teaching, I think $58,000 is a reasonable salary... Along with union benefits, et. al. The teacher shortage must be coming from elsewhere...

The argument was backed by the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development's annual survey of education policy, which found teachers were getting older as graduates opted for more lucrative jobs in the private sector.

... Okay, maybe the shortage isn't coming from elsewhere. And privatising education would be out of the question, right? You know, can't have any of this right-wing stuff in our schools!

"Like nursing we will not have enough teachers in the near future, and governments simply can't put their heads in the sand, they really do have to address the issue," she [Teachers Federation president Maree O'Halloran] said.

Tax the arse out of us further? Hooray!

... Oh crap, I think I may have broken my vow against anger in this post. Or at least come very close to breaking it... Uh oh...

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

More Funny Stuff 

It's not very often that a site I visit will get an instant bookmark. However, Bald Monkey went against the odds and gained an instant bookmark. Go there to find out why. I've been laughing hysterically all evening over some of this stuff...

There is stuff on:

Crap Australian bands;

France and the U.S.;

Un-Australian activities;

Teacher strikes (it's oh-so accurate, too!);

and finally, in a story about bogans, the most accurate portrayal of Labor headkicker, Mark Latham that I've ever seen:

...However Mark Latham snorted with derision, pointing out that Labor has always been full of bogans and is much more sensitive to their needs. "Just look at me, ya suckholes!" he shouted across the parliamentary chamber, before leaping across the floor and crash tackling Tony Abbott.

Bald Monkey has acquired a new fan.

It Could Work 

If I were living in Paris, I'm not too sure how much this would affect my Dignity-O-Meter:

SUPERMARKET dating, where singles can check each other out via the contents of their trolleys, flirt while weighing vegetables and even walk down the aisles together, is coming to Paris.


Single shoppers will be identified on Thursday evenings by baskets decorated with a cartoon of a kissing couple, and offered a glass of champagne and a free photograph if they succeed in finding a potential mate.

... And I still haven't reached a conclusion about my post-shopping reading on the Dignity-O-Meter.


Trust me to take a vow against anger when I find new content at the Adbusters site...

Anyway, they want to bring out the first ever grassroots "anti-brand" against Nike. Dubbed the blackSpot sneaker, they have an ass-kicking (geddit?) marketing campaign designed to "revolutionise capitalism".

I'm just curious as to how there can be such thing as an "anti-brand". I mean, isn't the new brand "blackSpot" or something? All I can see is a difference in business models. In fact, I think they share something in common with another well-doing Australian business:

We are not motivated by profit but by the desire to provide a fun range of quality products for the benefit of women and their admirers and the challenge of building a modern, ethical and socially responsible business in the new world economy.

Well, as far as raw principles go, these guys share something with the blackSpot project. Although I must say that starting a business with the aim of kicking somebody's ass seems awfully capitalist... What happened to the love, Adbusters?

Future Plans 

Just to clear up any suspicion - I may technically be a resident of the Gold Coast, but I'd say I spend more time in Brisbane than here. Anyway, maybe I should just spend the summer in Brisbane as a 24/7 consumer whore:

QUEENSLAND consumers could be able to shop 24 hours a day over Christmas with retailers planning a trial run in Brisbane this festive season.

The Industrial Relations Commission will next week rule whether Chermside Shopping Centre retailers can open overnight on December 23.

Okay, maybe not the entire summer, but ... You know.

Connection Spotted 

Am I the only person to spot this on the news.com.au website?

Or am I just being silly?

May I just point out that news articles are listed from newest to oldest, so for full humour impact, read from the bottom.

Funny Stuff 

Frank at IMAO has a new In My World up, and as usual, it's damn hilarious. I think that Rumsfeld's lines are often the money lines, but conversely, it means I can't quote anything from it, as it would violate my no-anger policy.

Speaking of Frank J., it'd be interesting to see how he'd go about rewriting this.

A new U.S. Democrat has joined the presidential race, and is surely to cause a stir (make sure you get ready to fire your rimshots).

And I don't have anything funny or insightful to say.

Under Fire! 

I've been referred to as "pretty angry for someone so young", which is probably true. Even if most of it is deliberately over-the-top, but hey. I'm willing to give the cool, calm approach a try.

So, posts for today and tomorrow will feature as little anger as possible.

I can see the upside though; I was the first topic of discussion in those comments!

Also today at Tim Blair, a post title that had me cracking up for unknown reasons:


Monday, September 15, 2003


Either Blogger, my ISP, or both are being total bitches tonight. And comments aren't working again for me.

I was going to post more stuff, but due to technical difficulties, blogging will be stopped short this evening. Management apologises for any feelings of rage that may or may not result.

Yeah, that's right, I'm apologising if you don't feel rage for me no longer posting tonight. Because you should! It's the cool thing to do, yo.

Good Point Noted 

Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit (a.k.a The Blogfather - which you'll realise why if you ever see his site stats), makes a rather good observation. Which is what he usually does.

Speaking of Instapundit; there is a blog war going on, for those who aren't aware, between awesome blog #1: Instapundit (and allies), and awesome blog #2: IMAO. Or, as is going to be referred from here on in, Glenn against Frank J.

Glenn's allies have formed under the Axis of Evil Naughty, while Frank J. commands The Blogger Alliance.

If the story that I'm trying to tell here isn't making any sense to you (which I'm almost certain it's not), here's another description as to what's really going on.

Long story short, check out these guys, and then I'm after some other opinions as to who's cause I should support.

Do I support Frank's cause to pull more traffic to his site (and, by extension, mine); or do I side with Glenn and pull traffic simply because I'm aligned with the most popular blog on the net? Such a choice!

UPDATE: Oh yeah, here's the Alliance statistics for those interested.

Fighting Jets 

It seems that fighter jets only ever crash at air shows.

Well, on the plus side, nobody was hurt. And not too many fighter jets seem to have too many troubles when they're in combat. Now that I think about it, what if they design these jets to fail at an air show... You know, because it'll look cool. And everyone will get footage and pictures of it, and then everyone would be saying, "hey! Did you see the jet crash at the show yesterday? It was so much better than last month's show!"

Yeah, I'm on to you guys now!


Mad scientists sure are living up to their title. One has created a human-cow hybrid:

A CONTROVERSIAL cloning scientist is to announce he has created "human-cow" embryos that lived for about a fortnight and theoretically could have been implanted into a woman's womb.

"Here it comes! Almost there! It's a ..... hoof?!?"

Clearly, if these were implanted into women and given birth to, this human-cow superbeing would enslave us regular humans. We'd be brutally oppressed, as slaves are, and because the Hybrids are so mighty and strong, we wouldn't be able to rise up against them.

Either that or the Hybrids would have a regular strange desire to chew grass.

Out of the Closet 

Courtesy of Frank J., I don't think people need to fight more for gay rights. They've got it easier than us straight guys by a long way.

Now all I have to do is watch the accusations of me being gay roll in. *sigh*

Sunday, September 14, 2003


I never was expecting this kind of discovery to happen during my lifetime:

THE use of mobile phones and other electronic devices on planes had resulted in more than 100 so-called safety incidents in Australia during the past decade.

Yep, who woulda thunk it?

Saturday, September 13, 2003


Simon Crean is considering stepping down:

...Numerous Labor figures described it as an act of desperation by Mr Crean, whose approval ratings remain dismally low just 12 months out from an expected election date.

So, he's only considering it now? I'd have no problem if Crean stayed on, simply for the fact that Labor losing the next election is guaranteed if he remains their leader. What worries me is who his replacement would be...

The Crean loyalists are now contemplating "Plan B" of giving their support to Mr Crean's faithful deputy during the last leadership bid - Mark Latham - especially as speculation mounts within Labor about an early double dissolution.

No! God no! I loathe that guy. He is like Paul Keating in the sense that he is what I'd refer to as a "headkicker". If you say anything against him, he'll berate you with insults (rather than well-thought out replies), and ultimately, this would end up confusing the electorate into voting for him (hey, it's happened before! Think Keating vs. Hewson in the early 1990's). Bad political tactics - where's the leadership? I sincerely hope that Latham doesn't get access to the top of the Labor Party. There is no doubt in my mind that no matter what he does, it will end up screwing this country sideways. Kind of like Paul Keating, come to think of it...


The 9/11 lawsuits have been cleared to begin:

"We want to demonstrate that the terrorists were just accomplices of grossly negligent American businesses," said one unnamed attorney. "Our own business people opened the door and invited the killers to come in. We shouldn't blame the peaceful Muslim devotees. They were victims as well. "

I'm so very glad that's satire - because with the sheer idiocy that goes around regarding these "legal lotteries", it wouldn't at all surprise me that a case like this would happen. Scary.

Friday, September 12, 2003

A Long Rant 

Okay, to get the ball rolling, there's this, appearing in the September 12 Sydney Morning Herald:

A fail-safe recipe for world domination: first, snare the bunny

Oh goody, more "America is evil" crap.

With the right will, it takes just three steps to become a superpower, explains Colonel Charles Firth (rtd).

My first thought when I read that was, "I'll just assume that (rtd) is short for (retard)."

Anyway, this is what I am getting at:

Whichever country you've selected as an ally, it is important to communicate to its leaders in ways that seem honest and open but which are, in fact, narrowly in your own national interests.

For example: say you want them to help you invade a little oil-producing nation.

Let's call it, say, "Iraq". First, you should talk about freedom, democracy, the mutual threat that terrorism has on all countries - even the ones that aren't superpowers. On no account mention the oil.

Sweet fucking Christ, can you give it a rest?! If America wanted Iraq's oil, it would have easy access to it by now, right? Why is oil still so damned expensive? Why is America trying to pump it into Turkey to sell on Iraq's behalf? Why hasn't America stolen the oil for themselves? Because it was never on the agenda! Never mind the releasing of 25 million Iraqi's from a murderous fascist dictatorship, no, America invaded Iraq purely to further it's own agenda (Bush = former oil man = needs excuse to invade Iraq = Oil! $$$). The sad thing is, millions of people in the world actually believe that. This is what I find truly disturbing. Most of my dearest friends believe it. And it disturbs me to no end.

Why and how has this massive wave of anti-Americanism come to be? I think there are a lot of people and institutions that should be held more publicly accountable for what it is that they're doing (although of course they wouldn't be realising it). I am pointing the finger -- no, that's not harsh enough -- I am challenging the liberal media, and the left-wing nutters out there who have declared themselves to be morally superior over, what they have dubbed, "the ignorant masses." I am challenging these elitist wankers to actually stand accountable for every sentence, every word, every syllable of criticism they recieve. They are not to cry foul because "their dissent is being crushed!" This is bullshit, and it cannot go on.

What kind of world are we living in when most of our newspapers, television networks, radio programs and internet websites treat every single thing our world leaders do as "an act of conspiracy," or something along those lines? How have we allowed ourselves to become so unsure and paranoid about what everyone else is doing? So many questions have been raised, and in my mind, accountability does not lie with the greedy corporate elite, the American government, George W. Bush, or even Osama Bin Laden. I think more accountability for our wretched society as it is today should be attributed more to the actions of the Left; notably the likes of Noam Chomsky, Michael Moore and other leftist commentators who claim to "stick it to the man."

They seem to claim that everything we, as a western civilised society, do is evil. What the hell?! We live in the most developed parts of the world; how is the notion of prosperity along with freedoms of thought and speech evil? Sure, we may have a bit of a shady past (you know, what with slavery, for example), but that's all part of our evolution. We don't have to be proud of it, and for the most part I can quite easily say that we're not proud of it, but that's just how things were. Deal with it. It is the promoters of racial self-loathing like Michael Moore that wish to hold us liable for the actions of our kin over a century ago. Because countries like the United States and Australia are prospering, it's unfair to the little guys. You know, the ones with the murdering dictators, and the ones that are more likely than not to allow and support radical religious crusades. Oh, but they have oil, so that's the only reason we want to go and beat up on them. It is mindsets like this have more-or-less taken control of a vast amount of media outlets (Sydney Morning Herald, Australia's ABC network, CNN et. al.). This is further coupled with the knowledge that the easiest people to convince of something are the younger people - and it shows. You did notice that an overwhelming majority of protesters against the Iraq war were under the age of 30, right? You did notice that most leftist commentators have spent most of their lives with their noses in textbooks at universities, right? The real world isn't contained within textbooks or a university campus, which is why I find it more than a little condescending for such professors to be telling me how to think. I respect the individual's freedom of thought and speech; but the feeling obviously isn't mutual, because the instant that I state my disagreement, I'm bombarded with "YOU'RE CRUSHING MY DISSENT! YOU'RE AN EVIL, FASCIST, RIGHT-WING CHILD MURDERER! YOU XENOPHOBIC, INTOLERANT, DEATH-LOVING, WARMONGERING, HATEFUL PIECE OF LOW-LIFE SCUM! I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL FOR WHAT PEOPLE LIKE YOU DID TO IRAQ!"

Right, I'm the one with the problem.

Does what I'm getting at make sense to you? Or am I just coming off as some kind of hypocritical wanker? Let's analyse what I've said from both sides of the spectrum.

Here's what may be going through your mind:

"Marty loves America. Marty fails to see America's real reason for invading Iraq. Marty blames the media for corrupting people's minds. Marty says he respects free thought and free speech, yet hates it when people speak out against his beloved America and/or Australia. HYPOCRITE!"

Valid, you're entitled to your own opinion. Now, here's what I'm really trying to say:

"Marty doesn't understand why everyone hates America, he considers it a knee-jerk response by the media and subsequently the public to the outbreak of war. Marty thinks that many, many people cannot get over this knee-jerk loathing of America to see the benefits it has brought to the world (example used here was the freeing of 25 million Iraqis). Marty cannot comprehend that people will consider something as substantial as that and America's open dedication to rebuilding the place as a moot point simply because "Bush lied and people died." Marty thinks anyone who holds that viewpoint should try and be a little more pragmatic. Marty eventually lays criticism onto the liberal media (or the liberal-minded dominance of the mass-media) because they are instilling this racial self-loathing mindset amongst the future generation of leaders, simply because we have proven to be more prosperous over time (while still noting that we have had far from a flawless past). Marty says he respects free thought and speech, and gives the impression that he would fight to protect it if it ever came under attack; but freedom of speech also entails that not everybody, or indeed nobody, has to agree with you. Marty thinks it's a little pig-headed of the Left to get so worked up over this "crushing of dissent" bollocks when all it really is, is just a lot of people publicly disagreeing with them."

Well, it was something along those lines anyway. At any rate, I feel as though I've made my point clear.

You think I'm an idiot! 

For all those who call me an idiot due to my ability to send SMS messages while driving, you should all check this out:

BERLIN (Reuters) - German police caught a man playing the flute with both hands as he sped through traffic at 80 miles per hour on a busy highway, police said Wednesday.

Enough said.

Spot the Problem 

This is why you can't trust mainstream news services to tell stories properly:

BAD-boy rapper 50 Cent reportedly dodged 10 bullets in a dash for his life as hitmen tried to knock him off at a Jersey City hotel on the US east coast earlier this week.

This should be translated as:

"Bad-ass muthafucka 50 Cent missed gettin' wasted by 10 bullets, yo. Eas'side fuckers tried poppin' caps at his ass at the Jersy City hotel shiznit."

Although the writer gradually got into the swing of things:

The former drug dealer - whose real name is Curtis Jackson - was pulling into the car park of the Doubletree Hotel when he and his posse were allegedly ambushed by an unconfirmed number of assailants.

They was dissin' mah posse, yo! They dissin' me cuz I'm a playa playa, fo' real!

But the spirit of the article is getting lost again:

50 Cent and his entourage then reportedly ducked and weaved their way into the hotel lobby where they took cover until the gunfire ended.

"50 Cent and da other muthafuckaz dodged the pimp-daddy fuckers, yo; into the lobby of da hotel where they hid until the other muthafucka gangstas left, yo."

The shooting is the latest in a series of violent incidents to rock the hip hop fraternity. Last week, D.O. Cannon - an artist signed to rival hip hop label Murder Inc. was gunned down in Queens.

You punk-ass bitch nigga! I is gonna be tellin' you to watch your back, yo! You better roll on! I kill you, muthafucka!

... And so on, in that fashion.


I probably would have changed the headline to this story before it was published:

Backyard burnoffs cause 50 fires

You know, just in case you may have doubted it.

The rest of the story is boring, because there's nothing that I can find funny about it. Well, there probably would be if I looked hard enough, but I can't be bothered right now.

Parenting Advice 

Here's a couple of tips for all the parents out there:

1) Don't let your kids get into drugs, especially at an early age.

2) Don't give them the keys to the car.

3) Don't feed them hair.

Thursday, September 11, 2003


Much too busy to post anything today/tonight. So here's a list of readings that I've read today:

Tim Blair on today's stupid Sydney Morning Herald, also on 9/11 reading.

Rachel Lucas on September 11, and also the full James Lileks article that Rachel uses is also worth a read.

Finally, Greg Sheridan in today's Australian.


Wednesday, September 10, 2003


When I start running out of new groups of people to lay shit on, I'll go back to the ol' faithfuls like the Socialist Alliance, Adbusters, or the Australian Communist Party. I thought I'd drop by the Communist Youth of Australia website, just for the hell of it. Here's what they stand for:

We work specifically on issues most affecting youth such as Education, Youth Exploitation in the Workplace, Youth Rights, Social Security/Employment issues and Housing. This is how we can reach and relate to youth, and get them involved in political work and activism...

You fight for youth rights by taxing all their money away from them? Sounds a little more harsh than whatever youth exploitation happens in the workplace. Good luck finding recruits, comrade!

...We will take our ideas into the schools universities and workplaces. We will work and campaign where youth are most concentrated and we can have the maximum impact. This is the way we work in the Communist Youth of Australia.

Where does the funding for these campaigns come from? That's all I want to know...

With these frightening developments in our world, there is no longer any option not to struggle against this neo-fascism of the Bush/Blair/Howard Administration. We must fight or end up in a society continuously at war, with nothing left here to fight for!

Oh, thats rich, a bunch of communists calling Bush, Blair and Howard "fascist". Haha!!!

Let's just get one thing straight:

1. often Fascism

a) A system of government marked by centralization of authority under a dictator, stringent socioeconomic controls, suppression of the opposition through terror and censorship, and typically a policy of belligerent nationalism and racism.

b) A political philosophy or movement based on or advocating such a system of government.

2. Oppressive, dictatorial control.

Right. I don't ever again want to hear anybody say that Bush/Blair/Howard are fascist. Because, as that definition clearly states, they are not fascist. Ugh!

Clearin' Stuff Up 

What's with the pre-conception that Nazi's are off the extreme right-wing end of politics? In fact, it's quite the opposite, according to the American Nazi Party website:

The American Nazi Party is a Political-Educational Association, dedicated to the 14 WORDS*. We are committed to bringing American National Socialism, first created and embodied by our late Commander George Lincoln Rockwell, out of the past Phase One activities which at the time served their purpose well, and into the 21st Century.

Although National Socialism encompasses many various issues of concern to Aryan Americans, including a healthy environment, children's welfare, and freedom of belief without fear of System persecution...the two main tenants of National Socialism embodies the Struggle for Aryan Racial survival, and Social Justice for White Working Class people throughout our land.

Okay, so it can be automatically assumed that the evil capitalist pigs are responsible for everything bad in the world. Including their inability to use the english language in a legible manner, it would seem:

We are in the "main", concerned with RACIAL SURVIVAL and secondly with SOCIAL JUSTICE for White Working Class people. This does NOT mean that we exclude "professionals" for joining, but we have found that MOST "professionals" tend to have a VESTED INTEREST in the well-being of this corrupt capitalist monstrosity of a SYSTEM...and rather than DESTROY and OVER-THROW it...they would rather "CONSERV-A-TIVE" it, so that they can keep their juicy place at the table economically. After all, it has been the "PROFESSIONALS" that hold REAL POWER and INFLUENCE...that have GOTTEN US INTO this mess in the first place, eh? How can we even expect them to give up their SPECIAL PRIVILEGES and WEALTH=POWER...simply to save a mass of people (their own Folk) when they obviously despise us all in the first place?

Heheh, they can be racially superior all they want if that's how they wish to convey their thoughts.

*NOTE: The "14 words" they refer to: "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for White children."

Missed Opportunity... 

I wasn't quick enough to bag out Paul Keating's latest public appearance. And it is my duty as an Australian to do so. Oh well, at least I was beaten to it by people that I respect.

People like Andrew Bolt and Tim Blair. Hurrah!

Best part from Andrew Bolt:

We have a "destiny", an "appointment with reality", cried Keating, and people who "traduced" our "new norms of behaviour" are guilty of "a terrible thing", and "must lose".

Critics like me had a "limited faith" in Australians, yet Keating also warned that "base motivations run through a community and a polity like a virus", and we should "go to the (Asian) region and say we've turned over a new leaf ". We weak, sinful and sorry people.

What's more, slogans such as "for all of us" were really "implicitly negative" and divisive. But multiculturalism wasn't. Believe him.

Best part from Tim Blair:

Keating's speech, at a Melbourne book launch, was also notable for its unacceptable amount of $20 words, including "timorous", ­"vitiate", ­"polity", "probity", and "traduced". This marks something of a change for Keating, who, outraged at 'Diamond Jim' McClelland's lavish language, once phoned him to offer some advice: "Just because you swallowed a f***ing dictionary when you were about 15 doesn't give you the right to pour a bucket of shit over the rest of us."

Heh heh heh.


Check out this anti-Bush crap:


I love the logic used. Or lack thereof.

Blogs That Aren't Mine 

I don't link to many other blogs (I figure, "why should I? That's what the right-hand column is for!"). Anyway, here is cool stuff from other blogs:

Bulletin columnist Tim Blair makes several fine points (the last series of points being his latest column for The Bulletin).

Anything Frank J. at IMAO writes is generally funny. The latest edition of Frank Predictions is no exception. Also, if you haven't read the Nuke The Moon essay, you are a complete idiot. Read it now and remove any remaining idiocy from your being!

If you're feeling the need for some intellectual stimulation, anything The Bunyip says is worth looking at.

Tex likes to whack morons. The more he does it, the better, I say!

John Hawkins has a cool thing on the rise of the bloggers. We'll see, John. We'll see.

Okay, now I'll get back to reading news sites and deathmongering.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Goddamn Stupid Wankers 

Following is an angry rant full of all kinds of colourful language. You've been warned.

What the fuck is the go with these stupid muslim extremists? Case in point:

THE accused mastermind of the Bali bombings Imam Samudra says he would welcome a death sentence and the chance to become a martyr.

You know what? Since I'm not religious at all, I really don't give a flying fuck if these stupid shitheads want to die if it'll make them a martyr. As far as I'm concerned, God will not be greeting them. I'm just glad that these moronic fucktards will be wiped off the face of the planet. Martyr schmartyr, they are going to die and they will be dead. Gone. Forever. Yay.

"(Let) me be the only one who gets the death penalty," he told the Nine Network.

Imam, you will not be the only one getting the death penalty. Now just shut up and take the fucking bullet in the back of your head.

"Let me be the one to die as a martyr and release the others, I'm glad with that."

Hahahaha!!! Fuck that for a joke!

Samudra has previously claimed God would forgive him for the accidental killing of Muslims in the Bali blasts in which 202 people died, including 88 Australians.

Since when does any religion encourage killing? I hold absolutely no religious beliefs because this kind of thing gets stirred up, where it is God's will to kill People x to further the spread of People y. Get out of the middle-ages.

Asked whether he had a message for Australians, he said: "I tell Australians we're not afraid."

I can't speak for all Australians, but I'm not afraid of you either. If all these blame-America-firsters* and irrational idealists could comprehend that you hold no discretion as to who you kill, as long as they're not muslim, we would have wiped all you dickwads out a long time ago.

"Before 10 years, Australia and America will be destroyed, please help me God, I'm not afraid," he said.

What have the NO-WAR crowd got to say to that? Better yet, what do they propose we do? It would be immoral to wipe out a bunch of crazy, genocidal fuckwads, after all. Hey, maybe they'll be willing to sit down and talk through the problem with us! Yeah! That'll work!

"There will be war," he said.

"War is the solution, it will happen as it says in the Koran and the Bible."

And yet people are protesting against George Bush... Makes perfect sense.

I sure do like how it's barely recognised that these sub-humans want to eradicate western cultures primarily because our main religion is Christianity. It's not so much anything we've done; they just want to spread the muslim virus further around the world.

And I thought, as a civilisation, humans had evolved beyond this petty, retarded religious-based bickering.


* The term "blame-America-firster" was coined somewhere by Tim Blair. Credit where credit is due.

Balardy Hell! 

I'm being run off my feet, so although I'm still here; posting may be rather light for the next few days until university work and other assorted activities come under control. It's a busy couple of weeks for me, but we'll see how we go!

By the way, I reserve the right to heavily lay into anybody I see fit! For whatever reason! Although I may have to lay off the celebrities a bit. If they get smarter. Which they won't. So sorry, the celebrities are going to cop it for a while yet.

Monday, September 08, 2003


Sorry for the complete lack of posts in the last few days. I've been ultra-mega-mega busy lately.

Normal posting shall continue on Tuesday.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

Idiot Celebrities 

Anybody that knows me even mildly well would know that I hate it when celebrities say something that isn't scripted. Generally, like most artists, movie stars et al. are so far detached from the real world that any "insight" they offer makes you wonder how they could say it with a straight face. Case in point: Johnny Depp:

The 40-year-old actor, who stars in the "Pirates of the Caribbean", told the German news magazine Stern he was happier staying in the south of France with his wife, French actress and singer Vanessa Paradis, and their two children.


Depp slammed George W Bush's administration for its criticism of French opposition to the US-led war in Iraq.

So, by that logic - if Depp was lobbying hard for a part in a movie and a group of Depp's friends didn't think he should go for the part (which pissed Depp off at them), he's supposed to shower them with praise? What a moron.

Although a lot of Americans aren't too upset by Depp's arrogance:

By DCS132652:
Calling morons like Depp a halfwit is just wrong. He hasn't got anywhere near ½ a wit

By Fatmouse:
Oh, Depp will come back to America eventually - where else can idiots like him get paid $20,000,000 to play make-believe in front of a camera?

By rommel:
This is no big deal for the simple fact that johnny depp is nobody in the wide body of relevant world events. I don't see how this is news (I originally saw it when I opened my yahoo homepage). Him making a comment on the U.S. is analogous to a tele-tubby making a comment on the U.S. It affects nothing and just shows the commentator (johnny in this case) for their ignorance. The truly funny thing is, actors/actresses see themselves as important. People who, though talented, spend most of their careers pretending to be someone else and have no relevant purpose. If they were to disappear off the face of the earth, people would easily find another medium of entertainment, and there would be less adultery, ignorance, and drug use in the news. Actors like johnny making comments like his are like running in the special olympics: even if you get a gold medal you're still retarded.

And, as far as I'm concerned, the best one of the lot (that I would have said, had nobody else already said it):

By AngelDust:
Dear Johnny Depp...you tattooed, idiotic freak,

If you think America is so backward, childish and aggressive here's what you do:

Sell all your property in this country.
Burn your passport.
Cut all ties with friends and/or family here.
Give up your citizenship.
Stay the **** out of this country because we aren't feeling the love for you either. In case you are unclear on that last point, I'll break it down for you:

Don't come here to visit.
Don't come here to work.
Don't come here on vacation.

This is not a zoo. If you want to give your kids something to experience, let them experience and relish the cowardice, greed and out-and-out envy of their homeland: France.

With any luck, he'll keep his word and stay out of the United States. And that includes on-screen movie appearances.

Home Advice 

Welcome to Defiance Road, Woodridge. It's one of the only places in Brisbane where real estate prices are going down. Further than they were last week! Even then, I'd advise you to look elsewhere for a home, unless you like the edgy atmosphere:

All around the street, residents heard the sounds of screaming, saw hurt people running and finally were confronted with the sight of bodies and blood in their own backyards.

Well, on the other hand... It is Woodridge...


Comments seem to be working again!

Now let's just hope it stays that way...

UPDATE: Never mind. Stupid comments aren't working again. Anybody who knows a good, free provider can feel free to email me! I'm using Reblogger and, before anybody mentions it, Haloscan won't let new people sign up.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Holiday Undisclosed Location: Day 4 

I've blown too much damn money on pokie machines in the last few days. I'm getting over my gambling addiction, however (if you call refusing to put more than $10 into a machine in any one session an addiction). I think I have common rushes of sensibility. Or I'm the only person in Australia that notices the stickers on the machines that say, "chances of winning the maximum prize are generally no better than one in a million." Stupid gambling. I always lose, and it's one of the few things I'll follow the principle of "can't win; don't try."

Much to tired to do a substantial update tonight - and I'm not too sure that tomorrow will be any better. I am on a break though, so, with all due respect, this blog isn't at the top of my priority list.

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Bloody Comments 

The lack of comments is pissing me off as much (if not more) than it is pissing you off. Don't worry, I'll switch to another provider or something when I get more time to do so. Being away from home and away from a definite schedule sure is preventing me from doing such things. Bear with me, people. Please?

Holiday Undisclosed Location: Day 3 

I sure am still here. That's all I'm willing to say at this very moment.


Sex no longer sells:

Despite a $18,178 loss, the world's only listed brothel insists it's on track to pay a 10 per cent dividend, equal to 5c, by the end of this financial year.

Business is business.

Although I'm more curious about the headline: "Brothel actually losing money". It kind of makes me think that opening a bordello would be an extremely well-paying venture, if it attracts headlines like that if you start losing money...

Also of note:

Many, including a 13-year old shareholder and his father, took time after the meeting to congratulate managing director Andrew Harris.

Shareholders approved the company's planned expansion into Nevada, and into table-top dancing through the acquisition of Melbourne's Showgirls Bar 20.

Was that 13-year-old shareholder instrumental in that decision? At any rate, if the company is still doing well by the time that kid's 18th rolls around... Heh heh heh. I'm pretty sure the kid didn't suggest that his father get him shares in a brothel company, so I'll just assume the father came home one day, incredibly proud of himself, and said:

"Hey son! I got you something very important today!"

"Yeah? What's that? A new bike?"

"No, not quite. If you're patient, what I got will pay for a new bike though."

"Well, what did you get then?"

"I bought you some shares!"

"Wow, I've heard you go on about them before. I'm going to be rich!"

Then the mother would join in on the conversation:

"What did you buy him shares in?"

"Uhh... The Daily Planet..."

"Is that the brothel company that listed themselves?"

"... Maybe..."

And so on. As long as his father explained to the boy "don't worry son, you'll thank me when you're older. Heh heh heh." Then I guess all is well.

Well Said! 

A slightly modified excerpt from an online conversation:

Marty says:
There's something rather amusing about watching a bunch of artists provide social and political commentary...
Rj says:
How so?
Marty says:
... Because they're all so far off the planet that it reminds me just how much of a superior being to them I really am
Rj says:
Martin; you're a university student from Queensland. My wine glass is more interesting. (well, after 10 glasses, so is my desk). Just because you didn't do Arts... leave off the the well meaning, tree hugging, coke snorting, visonary, dole eating monkeys
Rj says:
That's why the ATO was paid large sums of money today
Rj says:
To keep them in a...
Rj says:
egg carton?
Rj says:
To buy canvas?


Rj says:
Rj says:

I couldn't have said it better if I tried.

Monday, September 01, 2003

Before I Forget: 

Pinch and a punch for the first of the month!

Today is the first day of Spring!

My birthday is in Spring, therefore Spring is awesome by association.

Holiday Undisclosed Location: Day 2 

I'm still alive. I have managed to not get attacked by the local natives yet. That's probably a good thing, as a lot of them look pretty, uh, questionable.

I may be back with more tonight - who knows!

Until then, haha and ouch (this happened right near where I was living earlier this year too, I might add).