Thursday, February 19, 2004

That's it! I'm leaving for good this time! 

It is with a heavy heart that I announce that this blog is finished. I have finally succumbed to the dark side and joined the Gravett empire with fellow blogmates Vikki McNaughton, Random Prose and Mike Jericho.

This blog will cease to be.

You can now find me at www.gravett.org/TRP/ -- The Rat Pack.

Adios, Blogger!


It wouldn't be proper of me to call it quits without finalising the last ever poll to be held on Marty's Insight.

What should you be doing right now? --- 215 votes taken.

1) Plotting against Marty --- 29 votes (13%)

2) Eating a sandwich --- 64 votes (30%)

3) Voting in some dumb poll --- 39 votes (18%)

4) Kicking cute little puppies --- 83 votes (39%)

You're all a bunch of sadists. Really.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

New satire site sits on sidebar! 

Decent Australian funnies are hard to find on the internet... Until now! You should all head on over to Meat Pie and Sauce and laugh at your inner-Aussie. Or better yet, check out the stories on the site. They make me laugh more than you do.

No cable and no cable makes Marty something something... 

I spoke too soon. I mentioned it in one of the running comments threads, but I'll actually post it up here for all to read. I've had a couple of delays in getting my cable connection up and running, so until then I have to live with rather limited dial-up internet access. No blogging until I have my cable!

At this stage it's looking like another two days or so; perhaps earlier, perhaps later, but in that general ball-park. I'm still accepting insults to David Marr, Margo Kingston and Mark Latham, remember.

As for what you can also use the comments to this post for, feel free to fling wild accusations around about other readers and commenters. Hop to it!

Sunday, February 15, 2004

Hiatus schmiatus 

Did I say I'd be away from here for one or two weeks? I meant one or two days!

I write this from a friend's place, as I prepare to move all my crap into my new place today. Hurrah for all! One of the best things as far as this blog and its readers is concerned is that there is cable internet there waiting for me.

In other news, it's a completely alien feeling for a 19-year old to be awake at 7:00 on a Sunday morning. Then again, why don't you try driving 750km in one day and see how you feel about consuming vast amounts of alcohol and then staying out all night. It was very tempting though...

Wow, I love my one-track mind.

P.S. Oh yeah, the times have changed -- literally. You'll notice that all post timestamps have been changed from NSW time to Queensland time... due to me being in Queensland and not NSW.

Friday, February 13, 2004

I'm leaving! 

Further to my previous notice, issued last Monday, I'd like to advise that I'm temporarily leaving this blog for an unspecified amount of time (perhaps even up to a week or two, although I hope it won't be that long). I'm moving house so I can't specify how long it will be before I get stable internet access again.

Until I return, everyone is invited to insult Margo Kingston, David Marr, or Mark Latham in the comments. The funniest insult wins! If the winner happens to live in the Brisbane area, I'll buy them a beer.

Thursday, February 12, 2004

Only arselickers want to privatise things! 

We've all heard about Telstra's massive profits that they just announced, right? Laborites don't like profits:

Telstra was fuelling its massive profits by charging consumers too much in telephone line rental fees, opposition communications spokesman Lindsay Tanner said today.

Mr Tanner's comments came after Telstra posted a 93.7 per cent rise in first half net profit to $2.3 billion.

Mr Tanner said Australia's biggest telecommunications company had propped up its profits by increasing line rental fees to up to $26.50 a month for a standard plan.

Fair enough. Thing is, however, Labor don't want to privatise Telstra. The only way to make Telstra competitive and not overcharge customers is to throw them fully into the marketplace. Er, so I guess this is just more Labor whinging about something that they couldn't fix, but won't stop trying to get everyone to think they can.

The inevitable happened 

My computer sure did die yesterday. Windows didn't want to load, and I managed to get the Blue Screen of Death on every startup. This is in Windows XP where the BSoD is a thing of the past... unless something really buggers up.

Luckily I had an old install of Windows 98 on my second hard drive, so I fired that up. It had trouble coping with all the new hardware since it had last been loaded up on my old, deceased computer (I pinched the hard drive out of it because it had only been replaced a few weeks before the computer totally carked it). All I could really do with Windows 98 was backup as much data from that disk on CD's as I could, since it wouldn't connect to the internet or do anything else pertaining to even the late 1990's (with the other exception of 3D graphics). This wouldn't do...

So I bought the sick computer into my father's office this morning to dump as much stuff from my computer onto another computer in the office; format both of my disks and then reinstall Windows on both. When I put my main drive into the office computer as a slave, Windows XP decided to do a full disk scan of it -- which was something I couldn't do beforehand -- and it all loaded fine after Windows found a few bad sectors or something and acted accordingly. I dumped my most important stuff on the office computer anyway, then took my main drive back out and put it in my computer.

I started it up and everything works fine now.

The thing is, I have just replaced the graphics card in my computer and with the heat we're experiencing lately (it got to 42°C here yesterday), I thought that it may have been too hot to operate and as a result Windows would refuse to load. If anybody reading this is more of a techno-geek than I am, is this possible or does it sound more like a Windows / hard drive error?

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Pilger pilfered 

Hey! I found the Green Left Weekly's new favourite tune!

Al-Qaeda's John Pilger's newest weapon against the West is a violent English-language rap tune urging young Muslims to wage holy war.

The song is being broadcast on the internet in an attempt to lure music-loving youth into the terror network, which is blamed for the September 11 attacks on US cities and other bombings around the world.

Titled Dirty Kuffar or Dirty Infidels, the song is performed by a London-based group which Islamists said was deeply sympathetic to Osama bin Laden's network.

Given last months revelations, Pilger probably financed this project.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

More bloggery 

I've added some more blogs to the sidebar. Everybody should take a look at:

Mythusmage Opines - Alan has his head screwed on the right way and comes armed with an American accent.

Running at the Mouth - A lawyer from Ohio, who considers me to be a kindred spirit. Well, at least when it comes to beating up on lefties anyway.

Silent Running - I should have added this link a long while ago, but I figure even I am allowed to slip up sometimes, so forgive me. Or I'll kill you.

UPDATE: I managed to slip up twice! I also forgot to include Dissecting Leftism in this blogroll update.

More FTA shiznit 

It's a little confusing to me that people like Mark Latham -- who would have favoured the free-trade agreement with the United States had we managed to get them to open up fully to farming and agriculture sectors -- are labelling the agreement as "a dud". Gerard Henderson has more:

Yesterday the Opposition Leader, Mark Latham, criticised John Howard for not delivering for the sugar industry and for not doing enough for beef and dairy farmers. This overlooks the fact that if this Prime Minister cannot do a deal on agriculture with this President, then no one for the foreseeable future can. It was a case of compromise on sugar - and, to a lesser extent on beef and dairy - or there would have been no FTA.

The exclusion of sugar will not make cane growers and sugar producers any worse off. Yet the junking of the FTA would have adversely affected the prospects of other Australian industries seeking to sell goods and services on American markets. Howard has indicated that he is sympathetic to the plight of the Australian sugar industry and that his Government is willing to consider additional assistance for it. No doubt, his concern is genuine. But, no doubt, Howard is also conscious that the industry is based in a number of marginal seats on the coast of Queensland and northern NSW.

Sugar growers are being misled by the likes of Queensland-based independent MP Bob Katter (formerly a National Party member) who maintains that government intervention - at federal and state level - can save the sugar industry in its current form. This is pure mythology.

Read the whole thing.

UPDATE: The Gnu Hunter has a conclusive roundup.

The few industries that are not covered by the FTA will not be disadvantaged, they just won't benefit. Why then must every other industry suffer with this nutty "all or nothing" approach from Mark Latham? Because it fits with the general style of Australian politics where the party in opposition opposes everything for the sake of it, to discredit the government and try to win office for themselves.

Read all of that too, along with his initial roundup from yesterday. Perhaps I should shout this guy a beer or something.

UPDATE II: There are varied opinions at the Sydney Morning Herald's Your Say page:

I am an Economics Student and this Trade deal is just plain common sense to me. Free Trade is great. The US has always held stupid Tarrifs etc to protect their ineffecient farming industries much to the detriment of Australia.

I can't believe people like Angry Aussie and Dominic Agostino (the Push Pop Pusher) who are whinging as with the vast majority of you about this.

Howard has done an exceptional job and has proved himself to be probably the greatest Prime Minister in history at steering this country into the powerhouse it has become today.

Rusty Crawford

Don't forget that Australia also has stupid tariffs to protect inefficient industries, as does the European Union. The fact that, unlike the European Union, Australia is readily willing to abolish these tariffs is truly a great thing. The eloquence level goes down after this:

Their are 2 things that we don't need to have a university degree for, self interest and Greed. We all have it and we all use it.

Both Governments live by it, if you have 276 million consumers and your opponent has 20 million consumers, who has the upper hand?


ben with a little b (in his bonnet)

It's simple - mediocrity flourishes in a protected environment. Open the gates to competition and everyone benefits due to the need to develop superior products at cheaper costs. People aren't forced to buy crap then. And another thing: What on earth makes you think that the U.S. is our economic "opponent"? Idiot.

This one was awesome:

Hooray! Crappy Australian TV drama is saved from having to lift its game. More "Australians telling Australian stories" - not that you see any Chinese Australians, Lebanese Australians etc etc unless they been thrown a tokenistic "let's all rejoice in happy multicultural land for 30 minutes" role by Australias legions of talentless scriptwriters.

By the way - are there any Australian content rules for newspapers? What's the proportion of Sydney Morning Herald articles sourced to offshore newswires and "syndicated" newspaper articles these days?

Tiu Fu Fong

I don't even think I need to comment on that.

Finally, this is what all sane people are thinking:

Seven times in a row the Liberal/National coallition has delivered us a budget surplus. Look at the two thirds of state Labor governments that are running defecits and the choice is simple. Accuse Howard of everything you want but dont be stupid, the man knows after 30 years in politics how to run the economy.
I cant understand for the life of me how anyone can see unrestricted entry to the worlds biggest economy as a bad thing. I think some people confuse their jealousy and hatred of John Howards power for a belief that Latham (the taxi driver bashing thug) could do better.


For once, a SMH reader-input page where sanity prevailed!

Monday, February 09, 2004


Blogging will be light this week as I have quite a few things to do, and then I'll be away from the blog entirely for an uncertain amount of time after next Saturday when I'll be moving house. The usual connectivity issues will be taking place, and it wouldn't surprise me if I'm away from here for more than a week. I'll provide updates when I can!

Until then, I'd like to express my happiness that we got our free-trade agreement with the United States. Woohoo!

UPDATE: Tim Blair addresses the issue so I don't have to.

Saturday, February 07, 2004

A post on Saturday...? 

I don't normally do updates on weekends, and this weekend should probably be no exception. Though, thanks to reader TokenModerateGuy, I have a strange urge to direct you to this FrontPage Mag article:

Former President Bill Clinton on Dec. 16, 1998, stated, "Other countries possess weapons of mass destruction and ballistic missiles. With Saddam, there is one big difference: He has used them. Not once, but repeatedly. Unleashing chemical weapons against Iranian troops during a decade-long war. Not only against soldiers, but against civilians, firing Scud missiles at the citizens of Israel, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain and Iran. And not only against a foreign enemy, but even against his own people, gassing Kurdish civilians in Northern Iraq. . . . I have no doubt today, that left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will use these terrible weapons again. . . . "

That's right! It's yet another article on why removing Saddam Hussein was the right thing to do! Read the whole thing. Andrew Bolt also has a column saying that the war in Iraq was still justified, and it is also worth reading.

Friday, February 06, 2004

Officially honourable 

My campaign to become an honorary* bastard has been short, sweet and to the point. I always knew I was a bastard!

On another note, I'd like to express my sincere thanks to all the idiotic nutcases that took my bait hook, line and sinker. You guys rock!

*I spelt it "honourary" before, but I think the correct spelling, even in Australia, is "honorary". Even if it's not, it looks more correct.

Thursday, February 05, 2004

Attention stupid, stinky, flea-ridden commies! 

To all the left-wing citizens of the Western world,

I hate you. I hate you all. I hate you so much that I choose to waste my time writing this just to tell you that I hate you! That's how much I hate you!

It's been mentioned to me that I should relish my time in the spotlight. I immediately thought, "bugger that! I'll just prolong my time in the spotlight instead!" So this is what this post is all about. So if you're a stupid pinko dipshit and this doesn't enrage you much, please leave tips on how I can better improve my technique next time.

The first and main thing I hate about all you dumb lefty idiots is the fact that you are all stupid left-wing morons. If you take that as a compliment, then it means that I hate you. It means that the only good thing you'll do in your life is get pummelled by somebody that I don't hate quite as much as I hate you.

The second thing I hate about you is your nature. All you do is whinge! For example, the 12-year "rush to war" to remove Saddam Hussein was plagued with stupid slogans. "No blood for oil"? Are you stupid?! Sure, we conservatives may be evil, but we don't barrell our victims blood up and send it to rogue states like North Korea. They can't pay us enough to do that! You stupid nutbags are so dumb that you can't even see that!

Thirdly, what the hell is the go with calling conservatives "fascist"? Having a large government in place ultimately stops us from doing what we like doing best: Screwing people over in order to gain a profit. This is why we want large amounts of deregulation; it's why we want the government to keep their noses out of our business! If anything, it's you that is fascist! "We have to regulate this! There needs to be a new government agency put in place to watch over the activities of watchdogs who police the office that keeps a menacing eye on what is shown between 2:30 and 3:00 in the morning on free-to-air television!" There's no problem that a bigger government won't solve, right lefties?

Fourthly, get a damn haircut! And shave! You almost have a chance of me not wanting to beat you with a lead pipe when I walk past you on the street if you can follow basic hygiene.

Fifth and finally, don't you think you're a little bit hypocritical when you call people such as myself a "sheep" for having the opinions and political stance that I do? I mean, the traditional lefty stereotype is for the best part entirely true. And no lefty that I've ever talked to has disproved the stereotype. Well, there are variances in how much you stink, which op shop you bought your clothes from, or even how much your welfare payment is per fortnight, but they're all rather superficial differences in the end. My point is, if you weren't all full of the same kind of crap, you wouldn't have such an accurate stereotype! Sheep!

I could ramble on here for a lot longer with the reasons why I hate you, but I think you'd all lose interest after this point anyway due to it being roughly 38 seconds since you last put your bong to what can very loosely be described by yourself as "good use". So by now you're probably not even comprehending what I'm saying. That's why I'm choosing to end this message now.

May death rain down upon you forever.

With love,

Around the place 

* Yobbo's site administrator Bailz has gone bonkers. Be sure to read the comments.

* Frank J. has compiled the Universal Democratic Underground thread. It's a must read, especially for those of you who have been to the DU forums.

* Vikki has disappeared off the face of the planet.

* I'm working on becoming an Honourary Bastard, due to my filthy capitalist beliefs.

More on Mark 

It is always interesting to watch Mark Latham. He's trying to be everything to everyone, which, as logic would have it, doesn't really work:

"Disadvantage is not an alibi for bad parental behaviour," Mr Latham said. He said he could not tolerate the view that it was all right to do whatever a person liked.

"Some people on the extreme left say personal responsibility doesn't matter," Mr Latham said.

"People on the extreme right underfund, under-resource and under-value the government contribution.

"I'm in the centre saying you need both."

Obviously his heart is in the right place, right? Patrick Cook nailed his folly in this week's edition of the Bulletin:

Mark has some pretty firm ideas about responsible parenting, doesn't he?

He certainly does. Under a Mark government a new ministry of social order will be established, with astonishingly sweeping powers, possibly based on ASIO, to enforce individual responsibility. Government operatives will be entitled to accost any parent, dawn raids are a preferred option, and insist that parents chew their food at least fifty times per mouthful, that parents tidy their rooms and do not sit in front of a computer screen all day. Parents will further be forced to get inside out of the fresh air, where appropriate, and to get their noses into a book.

Read all of Patrick's column. Funny stuff.

Get on with it! 

Things are looking better:

THE Federal Government was confident of finalising a free trade agreement with the US by the middle of this year, it said today.


Wednesday, February 04, 2004

My arrogance is finally starting to pay off! 

Come one, come all! I've been the subject of some discussion over at the mono.net forums that I haven't bothered reading. I just checked my referrer logs (I won't bother linking to those shitstains, but thanks for the traffic guys).

Anyway, check out these comments, all posted by some crazy person that goes by the name of "Evilegg". This is awesome (check comments to each post):

You Marty are a fat assed private school cock smoking cunt headed fucker if ever Ive seen one.Do you know what you need?You need to be kicked in the sack 50 times for being a pompous Alexander Downer looking rich scotch college fucker.
Assholes like you need to move out of ya mums house and get a fucking reality check.
I hope you have a heart attack and choke on ya own crap idiot!!!

Then this:

Fuck off you zionist pig fucker...


This fuckfaced arrogant teenager Marty needs to go outside his tree lined rich suburb and get some fucking life experience.What a little pratt you are mate.You remind me of a young fumbling premature ejaculating posh speaking Alexander Downer.
Have you even had sex?

Followed by this regarding Janet Jackson's boob-slip:

Admit it !You pulled your tiny cock for hours over that footage didnt you fucker

... Which was followed up with this:

Your Biggest problem is that you worship a racist ass licking prime minister.
You need to get a life and go outside rich kid.I bet your a fat piece o shit too.

And it all finished here:

When you finally get that priests cock out of your ass marty and wake up to the world you might get somewhere.Now fuck off and have milk and cookies you pizza faced richboy brat!

There seems to be some misconception that I'm a rich, fat, private-schooled kid. Quite the opposite, actually. I don't know if there's any point to me responding with similar amounts of juvenile rage, especially due to this character having an obsession with my penis that my lawyer says I should probably be worried about.

He's generating quite a bit of traffic for me though, which is nice of him!

UPDATE: Couldn't help myself. I had to check out what they're saying about me. Funny stuff:

Hes in my favourites now and will be abused daily

Competition idea: Guess how many times he uses the word "cock" in an insult.

He reminds me of some of the up front fee paying students I have to deal with. When they fail, their mummies or daddies ring me up and say, they cant fail him, I'm paying full fees for this!

1) I'm paying HECS.
2) I don't fail. Want to see my results?

This is bloody hilarious.


John Ray, a sociologist from Brisbane, has recently come under attack from leftist law student Rob Corr and also from James Russell due to Ray apparently being a Nazi. Yobbo has sorted them out and Ray has responded. I found it all interesting reading.

Anyway, moving along, another thing I noticed at Ray's site was a comparison between Nazis and greenies. Here is part of the email that Ray published on his site:

If you remove the nationalism and racism from the party platform of the National Socialist German Workers Party of Hitler it becomes virtually identical to the modern Greens. Here is a partial list of the common positions:

National socialist health care
Strict government oversight of corporations
Extreme labor rights versus employers
High taxes
Big government
Strict gun control
Deification of nature
Aversion to Judeo-Christian theology

I've long considered Leftist doctrine as a form of fascism -- they'd rather entrust the government to provide for the "welfare" of everyone -- and if you look into the comparison given there, the pieces do begin to fit. Ray goes on to write:

Hitler was being a perfectly orthodox socialist in having those beliefs. Since then, however, the Left have switched sides and now make just as big a play of being anti-racist as they once did of their "racial hygeine" (eugenic) beliefs. And the Greenies follow suit. But they are all still Leftists with the same desire to tell everybody else what to do. And Hitler showed where those desires lead if the people concerned actually get power.

So is it plausible to consider modern-day leftist beliefs as neo-fascism? The left-wing mind police are out to tell the public what to do and how to think because they just know best. It's not, obviously, "fascism" per se, but as I said, it's kind of like a new derivative of it.

Onya Mark! 

Mark Latham's biggest problem as a politician is that he's in the wrong party:

MARK Latham has backed a hardline stance against the spread of heroin injecting rooms to counter government claims that Labor is soft on drugs - a move that will place him at odds with many in his own party.

The Opposition Leader has also ruled out Labor support for gay marriages, as the country's political leaders adopt a conservative values framework to try to lock in voters in key marginal seats.

Take that, lefties! I wouldn't dare go as far as to say it's a win-win situation for somebody like me in the federal election later this year though. Latham does have plenty of his own problems.

Am I the only one that doesn't give a shit about Janet's boob?!? 

I don't care! I DON'T CARE!

MUSIC stars Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake would be allowed to appear at next week's Grammy Awards despite Jackson's televised flash, but the broadcast would be delayed to weed out any more surprises, officials said.

Who cares? Why all the fuss? Jesus Christ, it was only a fucking boob! Who hasn't ever seen a boob before?

The boosted time delay will give the CBS television network, which also broadcast the Super Bowl, time to "delete both inappropriate audio and video footage from the broadcast", CBS said.

This is stupid. Absolutely stupid. Stupider than stupid. That's the nature of live television and big shows - occasionally people slip up. Occasionally boobs slip out. In the end though, why are people so retarded that they can't just go "haha! Oops!" instead of "OH MY GOD, I SAW HER BREAST! MY EYES ARE SOILED FOR LIFE!"

Gaaahhhh, all this fuss over a fucking boob is really, really annoying me.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Another witty anecdote 

When I caught up with some old high school friends last weekend, I forgot to mention a particular series of events that took place.

A guy that I was good friends with in about Year 9 was at this particular pub, and I hadn't seen him for quite a while, so we exchange life stories. As of this year, he's off to Lismore (in Northern NSW) to do a degree in Environmental Science, or some crap. He's also become quite the hippy, so as one would imagine, I took the liberty of ridiculing him in my own inimitable fashion.

ME: So, Environmental Science, huh? That sounds like fun.

HIM: Yeah, man. It's gonna be so fun. Are you going back to uni this year?

ME: Of course. I've got two more years until I get my Business degree.

HIM: So you're gonna be one of those rich corporate guys, are you?

ME: Yup. While you're out there doing field work on why an obscure variation of some toadstool is set to become extinct in 250 years, I'll be on the other side of the forest signalling it's destruction whilst also ordering the go-ahead on another oil-pillaging war in the Middle East. Oh, and I'll also give myself a $75,000,000 bonus for all my hard work.

HIM: *stunned look*

This stunned silence continued for roughly ten seconds; he obviously had nothing to say.

ME: ... I was joking. I'll be too busy hoarding illegal refugees into slave-labour camps in a secret deal with the government to care about bloody rainforests.

HIM: ... That's a joke too, right?

ME: Umm, yes.

HIM: ... Good. Anyway, best of luck man.

ME: Yeah, you too.

I'll be buggered if he ever says any kind words to or about me ever again.

UPDATE: Check out the comments for the jubilant return of my pet troll, Tigga!

Corporations, like, suck! 

Hooray for anti-corporatism!

... money is in short supply in Georgetown, an industrial town 100km north of the charming city of Charleston on the Atlantic coast. It is still reeling from the news last December that its steel mill had gone bust, leaving 600 workers without jobs.

Towns like this in South Carolina, which has been hit hard by the flow of jobs offshore, make the state fertile ground for the senator's populist anti-corporate message.

These guys are obviously economic geniuses. Greedy Americans keeping jobs and wealth away from those stupid poor countries. They don't need them! Socialist America, here we come!

Margo's embargo 

Margo Kingston is the newest champion for worker's rights. Her annual holiday has been extended from over one month, to two months:

Margo will be back on deck by the middle of February.

I wonder how long it'll be before Bob Brown's "I wish I could vote" vote picks up on Margo's shining example.

Like, everybody should, like, have a couple of months off at the end of the year. Like, why should anybody work for more than 10 months per year in a job they probably think is shit anyway. Actually, I think that even working for 10 months of the year is, like, criminal and stuff. Margo is an example of all the stuff that I'm, like, fighting for. By the way, Bush is Hitler!

Such brain-power is beyond me, obviously.

Janet knew!! 

Can we all get over Janet Jackson's boob-slip? I really don't care that it happened in front of millions and millions of people. It's just a female breast, and it was pretty much covered up with that star anyway. What's the big deal? The stupidest statement on the matter goes to Justin Timberlake for calling it a "wardrobe malfunction". The funniest statement I've read goes:

My brain and my penis are still arguing over whether that was hot...

Finally, Matt Drudge has a report saying that it was actually planned. That would certainly explain that big chrome star on Janet's nipple.

UPDATE: Adam provides his take on the matter, which includes this mock-letter:

"I beat my children with a big piece of wood every night but I'm DISGUSTED that the Superbowl would feature such EVIL. As a committed Christian I have been forced to lock my four sons under the stairs for an extended period of time to cleanse their eyes of the foul scenes that have been forced onto them. I will be closely examining the photo later to see what action can be taken. Yours sincerely, the Bishop of something. West Virginia"

Heheh. Also, best of luck to Adam and his ambition to rank at the top of Google for three or four minutes!

UPDATE II: As expected, here come the idiots that want to legislate their way out of this:

But outraged critics called it pornography and the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) launched an inquiry into what its chairman called a "classless, crass and deplorable" stunt.

Thank you, Mr. Authority. I'll never accidentally look at boobs again.

UPDATE III: The site that hosted that GIF previously seen is down; I'm assuming due to an over-abundance of traffic. I guess all you guys that came here to see the pictures will have to make do with the big close-up provided on the Drudge Report link, until it is eventually moved too.

UPDATE IV: I also realise the irony of me updating this post numerous times after saying "can we all get over it!" so there's no need to point that out.

Latham in diapers? 

I hate not being able to sleep. It's 4.30 in the fucking morning!!!

All is not lost, however. I was catching up on the latest group of Andrew Bolt's columns, and came across the best description of Mark Latham's government if it was to get power:

Latham's actual policies won't give us what he calls a big country, "big in character", with hard-working folk.

The only big thing they'll produce is Big Nanny and big bills.

Nowhere in Latham's speech is there a problem a bigger government can't solve. Big Nanny is everywhere, even in your home.

Bolta strikes again! Another column by Bolt that even lefty Rob Corr found merit in points out that in this year's federal election, John Howard is going to have to come up with a vision in order to stay on top.

True, a freedom-loving conservative must be wary of Man-with-the-Plan politics of the kind socialists, and Labor, love. But voters do want to know what a leader is on about -- what motivates him and what kind of sunlit Australia he's working for.

What has Howard given them? In 1996, he simply promised to make us ``relaxed and comfortable'', and won only because he wasn't Paul Keating. In 1998, he promised the GST, so he'd at least look like he believed in something, unlike Labor's Kim Beazley.

In 2001, Howard ran on fear. He'd protect us from terrorists and fake refugees -- which is great, but not a vision. How weak Labor was to have lost.

Sure, in a few circles the mention of Andrew Bolt results in some sneering, but you have to admit that the guy has a good point in almost every sentence he writes. Although I would ultimately prefer Howard's government over anyone else's, I think it's pretty safe to say that we haven't seen the current Liberal government face a really tough opposition. Whether they're a good opposition is another thing, though.

Monday, February 02, 2004

I'm the cause for global warming...? 

Mike Jericho has found yet another waste of taxpayer money at the ABC website. It is a calculator that, quite charmingly, tells you how long you should live.

Here is my result:

Bwahahaha! It's pretty cool how I'm cancelling out all those stupid hippies.


I just can't understand geek humour. Well, I can to a certain degree, but I simply cannot find this funny:

New dad Jon Blake Cusack decided that tacking Jr or II onto a boy's name was too common and talked his wife into naming their son Jon Blake Cusack 2.0.

I suggest he call his next daughter: "OMG Lisa ROOFLEZ!!11"

This article is lame. Although it does have one funny part:

Version 2.0 was born last Tuesday at Holland Community Hospital in Michegan, USA, and the proud parents took him home on Friday.

Although I bet the geek thinks the email he sent out about his newborn son was hilarious:

"I wrote in the birth announcement e-mail stuff, like there's a lot of features from version 1.0 with additional features from Jamie," Mr Cusack said.

Yawn. Somebody shoot this guy, so I don't have to.

(Link pillaged from Kev Gillett.)

Another non-offensive, non-denominational post for the prudish fuckheads out there who jerk off over that shit 

More PC crap:

ATLANTA, Georgia (AP) -- The state's school superintendent has proposed striking the word evolution from Georgia's science curriculum and replacing it with the phrase "biological changes over time."

The reason? To "alleviate pressure on teachers in socially conservative areas where parents object to its teaching." Sounds logical, eh? The funny thing is, the lefties who would normally support something like this (remember how the term "Founding Fathers" was replaced with "the Framers" in Californian textbooks?), think it's a load of crap and they're just appeasing the American Christian Right:

"Here we are, saying we have to improve standards and improve education, and we're just throwing a bone to the conservatives with total disregard to what scientists say," said state Rep. Bob Holmes, a Democrat.

Funnier still is the last two paragraphs of the article:

Social conservatives who prefer religious creation to be taught instead of evolution criticized the proposal as well.

"If you're teaching the concept without the word, what's the point?" said Rep. Bobby Franklin, a Republican. "It's stupid. It's like teaching gravity without using the word gravity."

Take that, PC idiots!

Da shiznit! 

You know, all of a sudden the letters page at the Sydney Morning Herald is interesting to read:

Apropos Alan Ramsey's article on da Prime Minister's press conference ("Here's yo' question, 'n my reply", Herald, January 31-February 1), how refreshing that shiznit would be if da Prime Minister wuz again call one of tha dude's manipulative press conferences, da press declined participate in tha dude's little charades, no one turned up 'n da press published that fact."

Severino M. Milazzo, Maroubra, January 31.

I think many letter-writers have actually improved their coherence level! Normally, this would be a bit of garbage, but thanks to the Shizzolator, it's almost funny to read:

I has just returned from da United States where, over da past few months, I has listened a number of versions of da reason fo' da invasion of Iraq, know what I'm sayin'? Few believed da WMD reason n' shit. Many thought that shiznit wuz 'bout getting Saddam Hussein n' shit. However, most agreed that that shiznit wuz needed because Russian oil companies had poured paper into Iraq shore up da supply of oil, be used once da sanctions had been lifted, know what I'm sayin'? The US had act before sanctions wuz lifted n' shit. Americans has no problem wit that, know what I'm sayin'? After izzall, they are da biggest users of energy 'n they need are greater than those of any other country, know what I'm sayin'?

Nobody understood why Australia became involved."

Ray Lanham, Manly, January 31.

This is my personal favourite, however:

I can't believe muthas are still splitting hairs 'n wringing hands over izzle liberation of Iraq, know what I'm sayin'? For heaven's sake, da coalition actions has been vindicated time 'n time again, culminating in Saddam Hussein's arrest, know what I'm sayin'?

The existence - or not - of WMDs is irrelevant n' shit. One day there will be peace 'n democracy in Iraq 'n da world will be a safer place, izzall because of da initiative of leaders like MistaBush 'n MistaHoward n' shit. Then da nit-pickers will need find something else whinge 'bout, know what I'm sayin'?

Peter Maresch, Lane Cove, January 31.

This is the shizzle, yo fizzi-pizzle iddy nigga.

Mmm... Beer 

There's something about pubs in smaller towns. I've always been told that I should at all times think positively, so instead of saying what I was originally going to say (that being "they're some of the most depressing places to drink in"), I'll just say that they have a lot of... character.

The regional NSW town I'm in for the next 12 days before returning to Brisbane is, in fact, the town I grew up in. The pubs here are the first I hit as a bright-eyed 18 year old, though needless to say, I was a red-eyed 18 year-old a few hours later. Back then, it was really exciting. There was one pub in town that was simply the place to go. All of the people my age went there on a Saturday night - it was fantastic!

I returned to this particular pub on Saturday night, as many of my old friends from high school were due to be there before returning to their respective cities for university in a week or so. It was really great to catch up with them all again, although we all simultaneously agreed that this particular pub lacked the, erm... class that we had all become accustomed to in our time away.

Needless to say, next time anyone wants to throw some kind of reunion party, I'll be jetting off to somewhere like Sydney or Coffs Harbour. Though many of my old friends go on impromptu trips to the Gold Coast or Brisbane, so maybe I'll just stay put.

Sunday, February 01, 2004

It was rigged! Rigged I tells ya! 

Bugger. I lost. Congratulations to Jonas of 85 George St. for taking out Best Queensland Blog.